


Gayer Than You

by Mirkys_Concubine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Complete, Crack Fic, Don't take this serious, Flamboyantly Gay Harry Potter, Gen, Humor, M/M, Major AU, Not Beta Read, OOC Harry Potter, Slash, Temporary Amnesia, Written years ago, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-10-05 20:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10316195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirkys_Concubine/pseuds/Mirkys_Concubine
Summary: Raised by his beloved Godparents Harry turns out to be a Flamboyantly Gay Teen that becomes the fiercest Fashion Designer. Beneath the Boa and glitter resides a Slytherin whose more than he seems. After all Voldemort's Minions are still out there, his Weasley fascination is a mask for something(one) he wants but can't have, and with each stone cast at him Harry emerges stronger, better, faster, poised, and epic-ably fashionable.AN: I've contracted Mad-Author Disease, because of this sudden illness the summary doesn't do this fiction justice, and I promise the story is a lil better written and just as wtf :)





	1. Chapter 1

# Gayer than You

###  **Part 1**  


Before the age of two I was left orphaned, by three I was given to my ‘uncles’ who helped me heal. I don’t remember much of my childhood, just the darkness, crying, and painful cramps in my stomach, I could only guess it was a point of time in my short 16 years of life that I was glad I couldn’t remember.  


My uncles were the best, though I wished for my parents – who wouldn’t – I was grateful for what I had. If I were to think back I would know that my childhood wasn’t normal, I lived with a man who changed once a month to a hairy version of a big dog with sharp teeth and another man who was a dog the rest of the time.  


One of my fondest memories were while my uncle Moony was on the edge of sleep and not all there; I remembered just playing with the man’s hair, twisting it and twirling it, just keeping busy with a brush a bit of jell and some rubber bands, of course once uncle Moony awoke he wasn’t hardly amused but what could the man do?  


Uncle Padfoot even encouraged me, but I think that was because he was dedicated to making an album he called his _Black book of Kink-Bribes_ … back then I didn’t understand what he meant by that but now that I’m old enough and had THE TALK I understand and all I can say is “Ewe!” but that’s any natural reaction when it concerns children and their parents or in my case care givers.  


I myself never found a problem or weird to have two uncles who shared a bed simply because I’m of the homosexual variety and I’m damn proud of it. Of course when Sirius found out he was surprised, but Remus pointed out that I was gayer than Sirius any day… that comment confused me until I grew into my gayness and had an appreciative eye. I noticed that while I enjoyed my clean-cut appearance and Witch Weekly magazines, Sirius was a complete slob that had me and uncle Moony exasperated. A stereotype of gayness was essentially me. I loved being gay, I flaunted it, I reveled in my gayness, I was so gay even the gays were in awe of my powers of dress and poise.  


It was when I was thirteen that uncle Padfoot pulled me aside and told me that because I decided, as if I would change my mind, to be homosexual that didn’t mean I had to be a character. My answer was simple, “It’s fun.”  


Sirius gave me a look of complete confusion; I guess to him it was hard, Remus understood perfectly, or at least he sympathized. Uncle Moony and I would plot together, what over the top gay thing would I do to freak uncle Padfoot out? Time passed and Sirius was left speechless so many times that he finally decided to put me in therapy swearing that something just _had_ to be wrong.  


The therapist lasted ten minutes before she deemed me sane, and just behaving like any normal homosexual teen with a life goal of annoying and rendering my uncle stupid. Uncle Padfoot couldn’t believe it but he had no other choice but to accept it.  


Back tracking a few years I was eleven and yay for me I received my Hogwarts letter… it was a beautiful moment; I was hugged from both sides by two very gorgeous older men and was promised a broom! I loved brooms, they were not only good for sweeping but it was my weapon against Remus. Uncle Moony was a stickler for safety and health, which was fine by me; it gave me reason to scare the man gray.  


I remember countless times standing on counters and chairs just to get a rise out of him, and boy did the man know how to yell and love you at the same time. I remember I was so upset one night (nightmare) that I managed to climb on the roof of our cottage, I wasn’t even thinking of him when I fell asleep and only found myself shook awake as I was practically strangled in a hug – I was nine and found myself grounded for the rest of the summer. Of course it didn’t help that uncle Moony thought I had been kidnapped and only found me because of sheer dumb luck; I still wear an anklet that could track my every move if they were so inclined.  


With Hogwarts letter close at hand, I must have carried that thing with me from the moment I received it until the hat sorted me, I heard all about Gryffindor, about how the Marauders ruled and the less than savory comments of the other houses, especially Slytherin. With every story and every prank war between the two Marauders, my one and only uncles, I knew one thing.  


I’ll be damned if I were to be a blasted Gryffindor… maybe Slytherin just to give Sirius a conniption or Hufflepuff...

**

  


“ **Slytherin**!”  


_Oh the possibilities…_ I thought as I plotted and was generally over the moon. I would have accepted Hufflepuff but the hat had out right refused to place me there saying I would bring the house more trouble than they could handle. Slytherin was the best choice; apparently my ambitions took a front seat over my courageous nature. Sitting in an available spot I can just picture the howler or imagine my uncle Padfoot fainting… the poor man, maybe I should take it easy on him?  


Nah.  


**

  


By third year I had gotten quite a reputation, I was freely gay; Sirius had said I should wait until I was older to come to that decision… Remus merely smacked him for that comment. I wasn’t necessarily an outcast but you could say I wasn’t beloved by my housemates but I couldn’t give two craps, really I didn’t care if I had to ward my trunk and my curtains, it was Slytherin, everyone did it. I’ve made a few friends, of course they were out of the silver and green that I guess was why I wasn’t much understood.  


Most of my friends were in the form of the female species, I found women beautiful in their own right but their parts did nothing for me, I guess that’s why they almost all loved me… it wasn’t hard to get used to training bras and underwear flashing in my direction as they dressed with me in the room – I guess girls weren’t shy around a gay boy, which was alright with me… the female form is very inspiring.  


By the end of third year my life changed in two ways; I had a green boa (not a snake, thank you!) that I named Sandy and an aspiring carrier as a fashion designer with a flair for hair. If that wasn’t gayer than gay I don’t know what is.  


**

  


Sirius rubbed his temples with the heels of his hands as he stared down at Witch Weekly. “I need a drink.” He mumbled.  


“You’ve had enough; you should be ashamed of yourself, behaving like this.” Remus reprimanded, dropping a pot on the stovetop with more force than necessary.  
Sirius winced and dug his heels deeper into his skull hoping to stop the men jabbing at his brain. “Why Remy, what went wrong?”  


Remus sighed, he shut the fire off and plopped himself in the empty seat, “Nothing, Harry’s fine.”  


“He’s in Slytherin.”  


“It’s a fine house; I remember your girlfriend from third year was a snake.”  


Sirius didn’t have a comment for that. “He has a boa, a green feathery thing wrapped around his neck.”  


“It was a gift from Ginny. Harry adores it as much as he adores the brooms you buy him.”  


“He should be in Quidditch, not holed up with colored pencils and paper.”  


Remus rested his arms on the table. “He plays Quidditch, just not the school games. You know Severus won’t allow him on after what happened the last time.”  


“Ugh, don’t remind me. Harry decorating his broom just has to be one of those moments that are swept under the rug.”  


Tired, Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your little pity party is annoying, do you have any idea what’s been going on all these years?”  
Sirius looked up, confusion clear. “Years?”  


“Sirius, Harry is determined to bring you to a conniption. At the time he didn’t know what that word meant but he said at the least to give you gray hair. He finds something that annoys someone and he exploits it. Look at me; he likes to scare me shitless when he does something reckless. He likes being the gayest person he could possibly be because it annoys you and it annoys everyone else, he hates the papers and he hates the fact that his name is famous for something he wishes never happened.”  


“You’re saying he’s doing this on purpose?”  


“Yes, and you’re taking every bait he throws at you. Remember that Christmas with that boa?”  


“God, how could I forget?”  


“Harry told me he thought it was the gaudiest thing he ever saw but once you nearly choked on your drink he just had to wear it every day that holiday.”  


“That little…” Sirius perked up.  


“Exactly, he’s a little shit, we love him, and we couldn’t be more proud of him than now, he’s making a name for himself besides that Boy-Who-Lived crap.”  


Sirius looked down at the front page cover of the magazine. “Couldn’t he be a Quidditch Player? I mean really, how much can you make from being a robe designer at 16?”  


Remus smirked. “Have you checked his personal finances?”  


“What personal finances? He has an allowance, that’s it.”  


Shaking his head, Remus summoned a stack of papers, “Here, these are his personal vault statements.”  


**

  


“I’m having a sleep over this summer, do you want to come?” Ginny asked as she turned the page of her charms book.  


“Will your brothers be there?”  


Ginny didn’t bother hiding her smile. “Maybe.”  


Tugging at the strands of hair caught in the brush in his hands. “Tell me or you’ll lose some of these pretty red locks of yours.”  


“Ow, alright! Yes, yes, they’ll be there. They’ll be dropping by the whole weekend.”  


“I’m just dying to meet these Weasley brothers I’ve heard so much, I mean yum, who doesn’t think dragon wrangling or curse breaking is so hot.” Ginny could do nothing but laugh.  


**

  


“But mom!” Ginny whined.  


“No Ginny.”  


“But I already said he could come.”  


Molly wiped the table down quickly before hustling back to the stove. “Then you will un-invite him, no boys allowed.”  


“But Harry’s not a boy! He’s practically one of us except without the proper equipment.”  


Molly tossed her daughter a look. “Gay or not, he’s a he and no boys.”  


“Please mom.” She took her mother’s hands and got on her knees. “Please mom. He’s gayer than gay, he likes older men mom, not dad’s age but you’ll have a ball watching him flirt with Bill or Charlie. Please!”  


“Gin.”  


“It’ll be me, Harry, and my three girlfriends… he promised to bring some of his pieces and he said that he would love to have you try on one of his outfits.”  


Speechless, “What, but…” Even she had heard of his pieces, they were showcase in some of the magazines she subscribed to.  


“I told him about that Summer Solstice Gala you and dad were going to so as a thank you and a gift he wanted to dress you and dad up. He said you two would be the talk of the town, besides, he loves the sweaters you knit and he wants you to teach him the tricks of your trade.”  


“Well,” hand to her chest, Molly was more than flattered “I don’t know what to say.”  


“Just say yes. I promise, there will be no sex or flashing of body parts excluding triple-dog-dares.”  


“Triple-dog-dares?”  


“It’s a muggle game, the same as truth or dare but way more humiliating.”  


“Ginny…” exasperated, Molly gave a shake to her head.  


“Please mom. Cho, the Ravenclaw, tried kissing him last Christmas and he gagged. Mum, she’s one of the prettiest girls in the school and he was about ready to pull hair because she smeared his lip gloss – his shimmery pink lip gloss. No straight man would be caught with sparkly anything on their face.”  


Heaving a sigh, Molly nodded her head. “Fine.” Ginny squealed in excitement. “But there will be checkups through the night so no sharing sleeping bags, understand.”  


“Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best mom ever!” hugging her mother tightly, Ginny quickly rushed to the floo.  


**

  


“Still not talking to me is he?” Harry whispered as he crept into the kitchen, taking a cup of tea from Remus.  


“No.” the graying man answered.  


“I can still hear you, I’m not deaf!” snarled Sirius.  


“I guess I shouldn’t mention I’ll be gone for the entire weekend, shacked up with some of the most gorgeous specimens known on earth.” Taking a sip of his tea, Harry caught his uncle’s perked expression as he glanced to his right. “What else can a lonely fabulously gay teen could ever hope for? This is the perfect weather for an orgy.”  


Remus choked on his drink.  


“No son of mine is going to participate in any bloody orgy!” thundered Sirius, the chair knocked back as he stood abruptly, face clouded. His annoyance of being out pranked shoved aside.  


**

  


Ginny stalked the front of her floo, biting at her thumbs she couldn’t wait any longer; it had already been twelve excruciating minutes past the time her friend was supposed to arrive. With a flare of pinkness and what seemed to be the strange distorted image of a crooked rainbow, the hearth lit and out stepped Harry. “Ginny!”  


“Merlin, what took you so long?” Giving her best friend a hug, she pulled back and asked a very important question. “Do you have it?”  


“A cooler filled.” He answered just as quickly.  


“This is going to be so awesome! Dad patched up the tent but we have to put it close to the house.”  


“Silencing charms?” dusting himself off, Harry removed his jacket, where he lived was much cooler than there.  


“Of course, though I promised mother no nudity.”  


Emptying his pockets, Harry set the small wooden figurines carefully on the floor, spaciously apart. “That doesn’t start now does it? Is anyone home?”  


“No, they’re all out in Diagon Alley, celebrating Percy’s promotion. They won’t be back for at least an hour or two.”  


Looking up, a grin on his face, Harry tapped one figurine with his wand, it expanded slowly but surely. “They’re all here?”  


“Everyone.”  


Fanning himself with one hand, Harry really couldn’t wait. “I think I’ve died and gone to freckled red head heaven.”  


### End of Part 1  


**AN:** This has been bunked in a folder in my usb stick... the crazy part is I don't remember writing this :D but I promise it gets better the further the story line :)


	2. Part 2

# **Gayer Than You**

### Part 2

The lunch had been large; they had talked about everything and nothing, for the first time in ages the Weasley family had come to together as a family – minus Ginny – and simply basked in it. It wasn’t often the large clan of red heads could congregate other than holidays or those ‘joyous’ occasions that Molly Weasley kept picking on her oldest children for.

Almost as one they had entered their home, immediately the scent of cinnamon wrapped around their noses and had their stretched stomachs growling for a taste though they swore not minutes prior they wouldn’t be able to eat until the season was over and done with. “Molly dear, did you leave something in the oven?” questioned Arthur, stepping further into his home.

“No.” curious, she checked her stove, opening it just a fraction she couldn’t help but admit that yes it smelt and looked delicious, leaving her wanting to hoard the baking pastries all to herself.

“Ginevra Molly Weasley!” the shout of her husband had her slamming the door closed and running, wand in hand. What she saw made her stop cold.

******

“Honey, you can do with an extra stone.” Fabric overlapping, Harry sighed as he took his scissors and cut along a line his eyes could see, his hand steady and straight.

“Are you trying to make me fat?”

“No, I’m trying to make you healthy. I can’t stand stick thin woman, you ladies have curves, fill them in, accentuate them, bone is not attractive for any season.” Removing the fabric, he didn’t even take a second to peek at a pair of breasts that was inches from his face. “You remember my last girl, Sarah? I found her bingeing on chocolate frogs but not a second later she would stick a finger down her throat and purge it all.”

“That’s why she left?”

“We had a talk, a long one and I suggested she admit herself to one of those rehabilitation centers the muggle's have, she’s still there, she won’t be leaving until her head is screwed on straight. How can anyone waist such good chocolate I won’t understand, I mean she could chip her nail or something.” Fanning out the material that was now the appropriate size, Harry fitted it against Ginny’s chest, reaching in and moving her breasts to the proper place. “Perfect, all we need is a filigree lining and some lace then we’re set for the top.”

“I want to see!” begged Ginny.”

“Not until it’s finished, you know the rules.”

“But it’s not fair.”

With nimble fingers, Harry manually undid the clasps in the back, now that he was almost done with it; he didn’t want to tear it with over enthusiastic magic. “Life isn’t fair hun, number one rule of living. Take off those pants we’ll try on the skirt.”

“Hand me my bra.” Hand outstretched, she practically jumped as someone shouted.

“Ginevra Molly Weasley! Explain yourself!” 

******

Harry wasn’t one for surprises; he never really liked them, but this surprise he could deal with. Normally, he would work in his room with warded doors and silencing charms but here at the Weasley’s that wasn’t possible so both he and Ginny relied on sheer dumb luck – it seemed their luck had veered in an opposite direction. “Mr. Weasley.”

“Dad!” Ginny quickly ducked behind her friend, hastily grabbing her bra from his hands and putting it on. “Wait, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh it’s not!” sarcasm dripped from his words. “Then do tell it sure as hell looks like my daughter standing half naked in front of a boy!”

“Really Mr. Weasley, she had to be.” The scathing look he received was enough to want him to apparate away and hide beneath the fold of his Uncle Remus’s apron – but he was a man, alright a man who wanted nothing more than to smother the two oldest boys in chocolate and he himself the rainbow sprinkles… “The corset would not fit right.”

“Dad.” Spoke up Ron, his ears red. “I don’t think…”

“Not now Ron, Ginny, go to your room, we’ll talk later!” thundered Arthur.

“No.” Harry protested, hand on his hips. “You sir need to take a breath and understand one very important thing.”

“Harry.” Hissed Ginny, her body pressed firmly against his back. “Shut up!”

“Her breasts, while adorable, turn me on as much as the thought of a nude Dumbledore.” It was said with much conviction that it had the twins, while upset, cracking a smile. 

Ginny on the other hand didn’t know whether to feel insulted – instead she pinched him on his arm. “Frankly Sir, I’m quite insulted you would think that Ginny would dare try to do the heterosexual horizontal in your home with the possibility of you popping up at any given moment, like any other person she would rent a room at the local inn, light a few candles, a rose petal bath, some nice vanilla scented oil, a tube of flavored… Oh wait, that’s me.”

Ginny dropped her head against her friend’s shoulders, “Harry, you’re hopeless.” She mumbled. “Dad, Harry’s gay, I’m one of his… his..” she couldn’t find the right word.

“Mannequin.” Harry supplied.

“Yes mannequin, and sometimes – not always – I’m topless but he’s a perfect gentleman!” Seeing her father not wholly convinced she pushed, “Trust me, he doesn’t want to try to get in my skirt, he would rather get into Bill’s pants.” sending her brother a look amusement she noticed a blush creeping along her oldest brothers cheeks, “Or Charlie, Percy, **and** the twins.”

“Preferably in that order.” Harry added with a toothy smile.

“Hey! What about me?” Ron protested before flushing as he realized what had come out of his mouth.

Harry gave him a patient look, “You’re just not gay enough for me, besides, I prefer you as the amusing homophobe who blushes when I flirt and you have the cutest reactions.”

“I’m not gay.” Percy denied, his nose wrinkling. 

“Oh that’s okay, there’s always time for you to convert to the rainbow side, and I have to get through your older brothers first. It’s a bit warm in here don’t you think? How about a rousing game of strip chess and a cool skinny dip in the pond?” looking around hopefully, he was met with both amused and confused expressions, the twins practically falling over one another in their silent laughter.

******

The night was creeping to ‘very early morning’ as Ginny and Harry were the only ones up at the ungodly hour of past two a.m. Ginny yawned loudly as she poured herself a second cup of tea. “I shouldn’t have eaten all that damn candy.” She scolded at herself.

“I say another hour before you crash and burn, the party was wonderful by the way.” Staring at his purple polished nails with spots of pink, Harry couldn’t help but admire them, they were perfect and matched with his pajama bottoms that seem to have mysteriously grown just a tad larger so they hung loosely at his hips to show the elastic of pink pair of Speedo type of underwear, of course he was careful to keep his pants up when the adults were around – the matriarchs of the Weasley Clan. “I never knew Luna could be so terrifying, that girl can tell stories.”

Ginny gave him a look. “You were scared because it was about her not being able to find shoes to match her dress so she wore yellow rain boots.”

“Like I said, scary,” Peering at his toes he wiggled them. “Should I paint my toes pink with purple dots?”

“Nice, do you have any more nail polish, Lydia used it last I saw.”

“She was in desperate need of some color, I swear Gin some of these friends of yours live under rocks. Who has never worn lipstick or at the very least lip-gloss?” Spooning more sugar into his cool tea, he watched his friend roll her tired eyes.

“You know very well Lydia’s mother thinks she’s too young for such things, I was surprised to see her walking around with pierced ears.”

“Now we have to convince her to place some well toned highlights and remove her braces and she’ll be a beautiful swan.” Heaving a sigh he continued. “Sometimes I’m so jealous of you girls, the guys love you. You all are like the mascara for the eyes.”

“I still can’t get over from this morning, how embarrassing to have your brothers see you topless, I think they’re all pushing it under the rug as one of those things you know but never talk about.” Running a finger along the rim of her tea cup she continued, “Bill is giving you funny looks.”

“I wonder how he looks naked, preferably sweaty and in nothing but that fang earring of his.” A blissful expression appeared on his face, “An orgy of red and freckles, now that’s my fantasy.”

Ginny couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s just gross!”

******

__  


_Miles away the atmosphere was less relaxed and sleepy. Deep within the bowls of the manor were twelve cloaked individuals standing at the point of an oddly shaped star, a chalked symbol with an unassuming wand and bits of hair and skin directly in the center. Their arms were spread as their heads lifted to the ceiling where a similar symbol was this time drawn in blood – forcibly taken._

_Their voices rose in the air, their words perfect and in tune, not a syllable out of place as they repeat sentence by sentence until an odd glow came from their very bodies and the glow gradually formed into a dark cloudy ball that hovered at their navels before dispersing and floating within their irregular shaped symbol… “Dark Lord Voldemort, Master of us all, High Lord of all these lands, rise! Rise! Rise!”_

_hair and skin with flecks of blood sizzled, the stench of burnt flesh rose but all twelve ignored it as the stuff turned to a sort of bubbling goo which puddled around the lone wand. The balls of lights inched closer and closer until they combined to one large ball of light and hovered above the center of the symbol. Dropping, there was a blinding light as wand and orb touched, leaving only a fine mist along the floor and a voice echoing through the room, an unseen wind rattling the chains dangling from the walls._

_“Find the boy… the one… bring him here… his blood… for my return…”_

******

The sun had barely peaked over the horizon before he was rudely awakened by a firm shake to his shoulders. “What!” he finally snapped as he removed his face mask, eyes clouded with sleep.

“Get up; Death Eaters are on their way.”

Harry sat up. “What, now?” glaring at Remus he couldn’t help but be upset. “I need at least six hours of blasted beauty sleep or I won’t look at my best.”

“Well too bad, get up, get dressed, we’re flooing out of here.”

Harry grumbled and managed to stand and stumble in surprise as a pair of pants was tossed to him. “Can’t you just tell them to leave? I need at least four more hours.” Harry angrily pulled up his jeans, not embarrassed to flash his uncle with a pair of pink underwear – after all it was this man who bought them.

“Wish I could love. Let’s go.” Once Harry had slipped on a long sleeved shirt and secured his wand, Remus took his cubs hand and led him out of the tent.

“Wait! I need my…”

“I’ll buy you a new one.” 

“But…”

“We have to hurry.”

“What about the girls, we can’t leave them.” Harry rubbed at his eyes and let out a yawn almost tripping over his feet but managed to keep pace.

Remus spared a glance behind him. “They were already up; one of the girls wasn’t feeling too well.”

“And one of the Weasley men couldn’t come and get me, not that I’m grateful you came.”

Remus tried to hide his smile but as Harry was walking beside him, their arms swinging, he couldn’t quite manage it. “It was suggested that I retrieve you, Ginny said she wasn’t going to let you kill yourself because you’re too busy molesting one of her brothers.”

“I can’t help it, have you seen them, yummy ness.” Making it to the front door his eyes lit up as he caught sight of the two oldest brothers. “Speaking of yummy.”

“No,” Remus tugged at his arm. “You’re to stick with me or Sirius; we can’t afford to have you distracted.”

Harry pouted.

******

Sirius growled, his hand smacking at the stone of the hearth. “They’ve disconnected it.” Looking around he was at least grateful the three guests got out alive but this was ridiculous. “Any luck with that anti-apparition ward.”

“No, it’s strong.” Bill answered, “They must have used a circle of seven. I can’t break it.” Bill looked defeated, “Not without a lot of time and we don’t have that long.”

“The portkey doesn’t work.” Charlie dropped the roll of newspaper somewhere off to the corner. “We’re cornered.”

“I need salt and vinegar.” All eyes turned to Harry who was carefully applying black nail polish and was sitting dutifully next to Remus. 

“Harry,” Sirius sighed. “This is no time for any of your kinks.”

“No, a kink is asking for a couple of bottles of chocolate syrup and some powdered sugar but I won’t suggest it because _someone_ has to ruin my fun.” Of course Remus had to glare at Harry. “I can make a temporary ward around the house but I need a lot of salt and vinegar.” Looking up he pouted as the room looked at him questioning, “I’m not all fluff and arse people I do know my magic. After all I have a whole Black Library at my fingertips.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes, “Harry James!”

“What?”

“When this is over we’re going to have a **long** discussion.” Harry rolled his eyes and returned to his nails. “I’ve told you to keep away from the library without proper supervision.”

The twins shared a look, George speaking up. “Don’t ask but we have bags of salt and bottles of vinegar.”

Harry licked his lips. “Really.” He practically purred. Remus reached out and snapped his fingers in front of his cubs face, Harry quickly cleared his throat. “I mean thank you.” 

Lowering his head he started on his second hand, the paint he had on previously was easily stripped with a well used spelled. 

Ginny was the first to break the silence, making her way to the sofa she sat on the arm of the chair and peered down at her friend’s hands. “Why black?” she asked, she never saw his nails black before, he always said it was tacky and should only be used for ‘special circumstances’. 

“We’re going to battle; I need to look the part you know.” Looking up with a half smile, “I can do you.” 

“She will not be involved.” Molly interrupted with a huff.

Harry frowned, “And why not, if I’m risking my life so should she.”

“She is not participating; she and Ronald will be placed somewhere safe.”

“Mom, I’m fighting.”

“No you’re not young lady.”

“Yes, she is.” Harry added. “We need all the wands we can get, there’s no sense for her or your son to not play their part. They’re not children.”

Before anymore could be said Arthur made his way to his wife, hand on her shoulder where he whispered in her ear. It must not have been pleasant since she gave a huff and marched her way to the kitchen. Ginny held out her hand, “Get to it.”

Minutes of silence passed before the stomping of feet of the returning twins interrupted everyone’s internal musings. The bags of salt and containers of vinegar were placed in front of Harry who was watching them with interest; he even lent to the side as one of the twins bent down to right a fallen bag of salt. “Harry!” Sirius glared from across the room.

“I can look!”

“Alright, no arguing,” ever the referee Remus sent a look to both men, young and old. “Harry please.”

With a swish of his wand Harry conjured a large bucket and long wooden spoon. With care he poured in the proper amounts of salt and vinegar until the liquid was thick and smelt horrible. Not even going to attempt to lift the bucket he swished his wand again and watched as it levitated steadily in the air. Bill glanced up at the ceiling, “A ward is down, you have to hurry.”

“Alright, I need a volunteer.” Looking about his eyes fell on the oldest of the Weasley’s. “Bill, love, come with me.” 

Charlie, who was beside him smirked and smacked him playfully on the chest with a broad hand, “Go on Bill.”

Harry gave the stockier Weasley a look. “You’re next I hope you know.”

“No one’s going anywhere with you but me,” Sirius pushed himself away from the hearth he was resting against. “Let’s go you horny Snake.”

“But I wanted Bill.” Harry protested as Sirius walked past him and opened the front door.

“Let’s go, you can annoy Bill another time.”

The bucket trailed behind Harry as he followed Sirius, “But this is the perfect time, we might die any minute so why not have a quick snog before I go?”

The door closed firmly behind the pair, there was a moment of quiet before laughter broke the tension in the air. Ginny collapsed on the sofa beside Remus, “You might as well give in Bill, he’ll move on to Charlie next.”

Percy scowled from where he stood. “I wonder where this _fascination_ of his started, it’s not healthy.”

“That would be me.” Ginny raised her hand. “I showed him that picture of last summer, the one where we were swimming in the lake. He couldn’t get enough your bodies.”

“He’s too young.” Bill said as Charlie gave him a look. 

“Not much younger than your last girlfriend.”

Bill glared. “She was at least several years older.”

“He’s cute enough. It’s only a snog Bill, nothing serious if he’s willing to go down the line.”

Bill gave Charlie a look, “You want to snog him don’t you?”

“I’m sorry but I do **not** want to hear this, he is my son after all.” Remus interrupted. 

Charlie’s mouth clamped shut, dealing with dragons was nothing when dealing with a miffed Werewolf. 

******

Harry’s steps were careful and unhurried though he knew that time was against him. He poured the odd mixture on the grass around the oddly shaped home, a steady stream while he listened to his godfather. “Are you mad?”

“I’m quite sane thank you very much.”

“Harry… this thing with you and the Weasley’s can’t go on, it’s an unhealthy obsession.”

Harry spared the man a look. “It’s fun, it’s an amusing form of entertainment and it makes Ginny laugh.”

Sirius gave him a side long glance. “You’re not turning straight on me are you?”

“Ewe, Sirius!” Harry gave a full body shudder, “Merlin no!” 

“Just making sure, I have enough problems with you as it is. What’s it going to take for you to lay off them?”

“A kiss… alright, we’re done. All we need is the incantation and we have some extra time.” The bucket dropped to the floor and popped away with a belching sound. 

“Great, extra time to twiddle our thumbs.” Sirius grumbled, kicking a stray stone.

Harry passed him a look. “I have just the thing to catch a few people’s attention.” Lifting his wand in the air he smirked as Sirius gave him a funny look.

******

Molly could do nothing but clean her already spotless kitchen. She was scrubbing the sink when she just happened to look up out of the window only to blanch and scream. There was a stampede of feet as every person from the living room moved to the kitchen, wand up and ready. “Arthur!”

Arthur immediately went to his wife, he followed her eyes out the window and sucked in a breadth, there just in the distance was the sign of death, the very oversized and green image of a skull and snake. “Oh Merlin.”

The front door crashed open; again wands pointed in the direction but before a relieved sigh could be done Harry stumbled towards Charlie who he hid behind clutching at the man’s robe. Right behind the wayward Slytherin stormed in Sirius who was beyond upset. “Don’t you **dare** think you can hide!” 

Harry squeaked and rushed to Remus. “Remy, Siri has gone mad!”

“Mad! Mad!” thundered Sirius, his wand shot angry red sparks where he clutched it at his side. “Do you know what you just did?!”

Harry stood on his toes and peered over the man’s shoulder. “Help is bound to come.”

“That’s it!” Sirius thundered, face flushed. “You’re grounded!”

Harry’s mouth dropped. “You can’t ground me!” he screeched.

Sirius snarled, “Watch me.”

“What did he do now Sirius?” Sirius opened his mouth but quickly closed it. Stepping closer, well aware that his godson tried to hide himself more and failed, he leaned in and whispered into his mate’s ear. It must not have been good since Remus’s eye twitched and a rumble came from his chest. “Harry?”

“Yes.”

“You’re grounded.”

“Yes sir.” Crossing his arms Harry pouted, it wasn’t fair!

### **End of Part 2**

So if you're good with math this was written pre-horcrux times :) The Salt and Vinegar had a reason... don't remember that reason but we'll pretend it's an ancient warding technique... yea... that sounds good? More to come, thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kissing!!

# **

Gayer Than You

**

### Part 3

For a place that screamed magic, Saint Mungos had to silently admit that the muggle's did do _some_ things right, their medical field was just as extensive as their own even with the disadvantage of being unable to use magic; a handicap that came in handy at times with patients who were unable to be treated with wands or potions. Potion accidents, rituals gone wrong, and then there were the odd cases that eventually called for action. Backed by several influential muggleborns and an anonymous donation a new wing was erected to help with those issues and also create a safe haven for squibs, families of muggleborns and the occasional humanoid creature like werewolves could go to. 

It was a private wing that was dead to magic – literally. No wands were allowed, no potions, no nothing remotely magical passed through a warded door from within Saint Mungos where a short corridor led to another door. This one a set of swinging doors that lead to a world beneath the city where you could only enter through a muggle pharmacy; a sterile place of white that had an off putting smell, there were muggle contraptions that was known to scare some magic users who weren’t used to the atmosphere. Phones and computers, a staff that was a mixture of muggles and squibs who were ready to handle any cases Saint Mungos couldn’t deal with. 

Harry Potter was just that odd case. Odd being and understatement when the Boy-Who-Should-Have-Died survived an Unforgivable at the hands of a rogue group of Death Eaters. Transported by an emergency portkey the screaming wizard landed in a designated area and for a moment as Medi-Witches and Wizards swarmed into the room the young wizard’s sobs were cut off with a shriek of pain when the wards flared. Tricky wards that assisted the staff in immobilizing their patient, a wand waved to dismantle them and Harry was left twitching before a Medi-Witch cast a diagnostic spell and the teen went into a seizure. 

It didn’t take long for one of them to come to a realization that magic wouldn’t help their patient and that Harry needed to be taken to the Dead Zone as it was called.

Frantically the necessary alarms were sounded and a muggle stretcher was found to lift the unconscious man on top and rolled out, orders being barked into the badges stitched to the breast of each Medi. The warded first door was wide open and just on the inside of the sterile white hall were several muggle specialists dressed in blue scrubs (very odd) and wearing masks that covered their noses and mouths. 

Two of them stepped forward to grab the muggle stretcher as none of the Medi’s felt the need to cross that boundary that would make their skin prickle. Rounding the corner ignoring the yells of them to stop were two men both frantic with fear and worry. Remus and Sirius watched as their son was pulled through double doors and into the hospital, pushing passed the Medi’s who tried to stop them the memories of that night would haunt them.

It would be hours before Harry would be stable enough to be moved from Intensive Care to a room of his own. There were no windows just plain walls that seemed to constrict around the pair who sat side by side watching machines keep Harry alive. The machines plugged into every available jack were attached to Harry – the tubes that were down his throat and pierced into his arm, the beeps, numbers, and hum that told them that their son was alive. 

The hospital was their new home, pull out beds had been rolled in and they only really left to use the loo or take a quick shower in the employee locker rooms. Their meals were brought to them by the sympathetic staff or a member of their extended family. It was almost a blur of time, soon a week flew by and their hope for their son to open his eyes never waned. Only a matter of time they told themselves, Harry’s body needed time to regenerate, time was something they had. Time would heal all wounds and even a depleted magical core could be healed… they didn’t want to think otherwise. 

_Harry winced. “They’re persistent group of bastards.”_

_“Language cub.” Remus reprimanded his grip on his wand tight._

_“They’re battering my wards; I can feel a backlash of it you know.” Crossing his arms at his chest, Harry was still in a sulk about being grounded._

_“Harry, can I speak to you for a second.” Bill spoke up from somewhere in the back where he had been arguing with Charlie. Judging by the grin on the Dragon tamers face he had lost. Harry gleefully skipped his way to the older man and barely kept himself from gushing too much._

_“Yes Scrumptious.” Harry gave the man one of his award winning smiles as his eyes took in the hotness that was the red head before him. Fantasy wouldn’t do reality justice Harry was sure._

_Bill grimaced at being called Scrumptious of all things. Pulling the boy farther away from the group he shifted on his feet both nervous and almost petrified. “This thing you have… it’s not serious is it?” fingers crossed Bill hoped not._

_The smile slipped from Harry’s lips and was replaced by a smirk. “No, I have a plan here I just need you all to give in to my Slytherin evil flirtatious ways.”_

_Bill gave him a look. “It’s not me is it?”_

_“No. You’re cute but my Weasley has the bigger jewels.”_

_A peculiar look graced the older man’s face before a grin spread his very delectable lips wide. “Oh, him.”_

_“Yes him, now don’t go ruining my evil plot of seduction.” Harry was about ready to turn away and warn everyone that they didn’t have much time before the wards crashed when his face was grabbed between two strong hands – he forgot to breath._

_“Is he looking?” Bill whispered, he couldn’t deny that the teen was attractive._

_“Yes.” Harry managed._

_“Good.” Leaning in, Bill was enthralled the moment their lips met and as he slipped his tongue between the eagerly parted lips he lost himself to the moment. Hand moving, he curled his fingers between the dark locks and took control, completely forgetting that he was being eyed, varying between shock to building anger._

_Harry moaned and slipped his arms around the curse breakers waist, he pressed himself closer, wanting nothing more than an available surface to take this snog fest a little more intimate, preferably without prying eyes but he knew as long as his guardians were here, they wouldn’t allow that. “Bill!” screeched Molly, finally falling out of her shocked daze._

_With infinite care and laziness Bill ended the kiss pecking the lips beneath him before pulling away completely, hand wiping at his mouth. Harry’s face was tilted upwards and lips still puckered. “Wow.” He said before his lips curved into a smile and eyes gazing adoringly at the oldest Weasley. “Wow.” He felt all tingly… he wanted more._

_“That’s it!” thundered Sirius, “No more kissing my godson!” of course the anigmus nearly choked on his words as he watched his godson practically pounce on the man and snogged him happily._

_“Harry!” Remus and Sirius cried out._

_“Bill!” Arthur shouted as he snatched his wife’s wand out of her hand before she could hex the pair._

“He moved.”

Remus cracked open an eye, he stared across the bed to Sirius. “The doctors said it was normal…”

“No.” Sirius interrupted, standing, he leaned over the rail and peered at his godson’s face that had a bit more color than the previous days. “He moved, this was more than a twitch love.” Licking his lips he reached out, pressing his hand against Harry’s face. “Harry, love, I know you’re awake.”

Remus straightened his lazy frame; he sat up and watched with baited breadth not wanting to get his hopes up even the wolf in him was silent. “Sirius maybe…” his breath hitched as he watched a grimace pass over his cubs face. “Oh god.” Standing, he took Harry’s hand in his. “Harry, cub, wake up… you have to wake up.”

_Remus couldn’t help but scold his cub as he tidied the boys hair, making it at least a bearable sight. “Your dogfather isn’t a happy puppy.”_

_Harry really couldn’t help his dopey expression, “I’m a happy snake right now.”_

_Remus snorted. “I can see.” Remus watched as Harry’s smile slipped and the boy grimaced. “What is it?”_

_Taking a deep breath, “The wards are down.” In that moment a spell blasted the front door off its hinges._

A relieved sort of smile graced Remus’s face; his eyes were wet as he stared across the bed to Sirius. “He – he squeezed my hand.”

_The curses flew, there was chaos as a dozen cloaked Death Eaters fought with who they assumed were weak Light witches and wizards but was surprised as they were easily forced back. They fought harder and cast stronger, intent to find their masters only hope. Spread out, there was a shout as their target was spotted. Soon most of their attention was on one person – Harry Potter._

_Running and dodging, Harry tumbled to the floor and quickly righted himself, curses and jinxes fell from his tongue in quick succession as if unfazed by the heat he had directed at him. Making sure he was as far away from his friends and family, he truly didn’t mind that they were all after him, he did want them safe, especially his guardians… his fathers. A tripping jinx caught his heel and with a shout he fell forward. The ground was harder than he would have preferred but he had braced himself with his hand, his wrist throbbed painfully but Harry was just grateful he didn’t break anything or his wand. Before he could get up he found himself held down by a pair of gloved hands and a ton of weight pressing him further into the ground. “You’ll make a lovely gift for my Master.” The man laughed from above him._

_Harry squeezed his eyes shut and pushed his magic out, the Death Eater above him flew off. Breathing hard, Harry stood unsteadily, at the moment he seemed to be on his own, the Death Eaters that were after him were now currently occupied. Looking at his hand, flexing his wrist, he gasped… he had broken an expertly manicured nail… oh there would be hell to pay._

Sirius stumbled into the room, winded. “The doctors are on their way.” Making his way to the bed he watched with a bit of envy the way his godson held his mate, Remus was bent awkwardly, their brows touching and noses brushing together, Sirius couldn’t hear what was being muttered but he knew Remus was scolding the younger boy and loving him at the same time.

_He marched down that hill with a larger purpose; he damn well was going to make sure that someone paid for his broken nail. He could feel his magic building and building until he felt it along his skin, like a constant pulse that had his little hairs standing on end and his once vibrant emerald eyes darkening. “ **Conglorio**!” a bright purple curse shot from his wand and hit a Death Eater on the back of the shoulder, the man went down screaming. _

_It wasn’t long before the Death Eaters were subdued, luckily the Aurors were running in their direction, it seemed even they couldn’t penetrate through the strong anti-apparation wards the Death Eater’s had put up._

“Dad…” Harry reached out with one arm, Remus occupying his other hand that was being clutched tightly, refusing to let his cub go. 

Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat; this was not the time to cry, later maybe but not now. Moving forward he practically hopped on the bed but he was mindful of all the heart wrenching contraptions attached to his boy and hugged him the best he could, his face buried into the curve of his godson’s neck. “Don’t ever do that again.” Pressing a kiss on a warm cheek he let their brows drop against one another. 

“Sorry dad.” Harry managed to rasp out as he held the man above him the best he could, even through the pain he felt.

Sniffing, Sirius allowed a smile to play on his lips. “You’re still grounded.”

_He had to move, he was restless, his eyes searched everyone, making sure they were okay, and he was very pissed off. It wasn’t as if there was a potion he could use to grow his nails, the one main ingredient in most of those potions he was allergic to so he had to deal with the more natural form of growing his nails – waiting. Oh he could wait, this just meant he had to now go and trim his other nails to perfect length; he refused to walk around with uneven nails. “Harry, you alright?” Ginny asked as a balm was soothed on the reddish discoloration of her hand._

_“No!” Fuming he kicked at rock, dissatisfied that it merely rolled over with a flop, that had hurt. “Some bloody bastard broke my nail!” Looks were sent his way but he couldn’t bring himself to care, he broke his nail!_

A doctor and several nurses had forced them to one side of the room, they watched as they poked and prodded their charge, son, cub. “Well Mr. Potter, it seems you’ve made a nice recovery.”

“It hurts.” Harry admitted. He shifted restlessly on his bed. “What happened?”

The doctor frowned. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Harry frowned. “I needed to let some…” His words caught off and he closed his eyes, he couldn’t catch his breath. “Can’t… breathe…” Gasping, Harry could feel his eyes water as his chest tightened. 

_A potion had been shoved down his throat but it did little good, he was a little less upset about his broken nail but now he had a bigger problem, he couldn’t push down his magic. Finding ways to disburse it he decided he could at least annoy someone who was relatively healthy, his eyes immediately set on Percy. “Perce!”_

_Percy frowned. “I told you not to call me that!”_

_“Yea well, I’ll only stop if you let me do something with your hair.” Harry held his wand expectantly._

_Percy took a step back. “No!”_

_“Oh come on. A simple lengthening and maybe some highlights and you’ll look hotter than you do now.”_

_“Stay away from me Potter!” Backing away he accidentally bumped into an Auror who held a Death Eater who couldn’t quite stand properly and kept falling with every step._

_It was like in slow motion, Harry watched with wide eyes as the tripping Death Eater was once again helped up but the auror was shoved aside and the cloaked figure grabbed at Percy’s wand that had been tucked into the young man’s back pocket with apparently little thought. Percy whirled around but moved back quickly as his own wand was pointed at him. “ **Avada Kedrava**!” cried the Death Eater before he was taken down, but it was too late. _

_There were screams but Harry barely thought about what he did as he shoved the Weasley aside and without much time to dodge he felt the killing curse strike him, all went black quickly as agonizing pain ripped through him, a scream dying from his lips as his scar reopened with a jolt of pain echoing through him before he hit the ground with a heavy thud. His wand, Holly with the feather of a phoenix slipped from his hand, the polished wood where his hand curled around was scorched as the tip smoked._

“He’s out of critical condition.” The surgeon announced.

“Oh thank Merlin.” Remus sat, his legs refusing to keep him up any longer.

“He’s okay, he has to be okay. Please tell me he’s okay.” Sirius felt his legs give way from relief and slid down the white wall to sit with a prayer to the gods. 

“He’s… Mr. Potter had a collapsed lung, I’m unsure how it happened but theory is that even with how depleted his core was some of his magic tried to heal the worst of the damage which kept us from noticing it. We called in Medi Patterson; she’s the head of the department and agrees. We suspect once Mr. Potter awoke from his coma it was too much of a strain to keep its hold… thankfully we were able to catch it and heal it. Once he’s able the Healer’s at Saint Mungo’s have a regimen he will follow but for right now he’ll have a difficult recovery road ahead of him and even with all the help I fear he’ll have some side effects.”

“What sort of side effects?” Remus managed to ask.

The surgeon drummed his fingers on the back of the clipboard he held. “Well, shortness of breath for one. If he was into any form of sports that involve running or general hard contact I would recommend he stay away from them. There’s a chance he might need pure oxygen once in a while, especially if he takes trips to the city, the exhaust and dust in the air wouldn’t be beneficial, with technology nowadays it would be simple to carry a portable personal oxygen tank with him just in case.”

“So a bit of asthma and no running, is that all?” Sirius spoke up; relieved it wasn’t **too** bad they could deal with this Harry was a fashion designer not a Quidditch star though now he was kind of glad he hadn’t taken up the sport.

“Besides his lungs there were issues with his internal organs, I glanced about with an x-ray and while I was there and didn’t find anything too worrisome though I am concerned about his heart. It had stopped several times during his stay here and with that type of strain and from that curse he was hit with, it can also be as weak as his lungs, there’s really no telling since it looks fine to the naked eye.”

Both wizards spared each other a look. “When can we see him?” Remus barely got out before his throat closed.

“He’s still under anesthesia; he should be out of it within the hour.”

******

It still felt odd to have something stuck up his nose but it was better than a mask covering his face. It had been four days since he was moved from the critical section of the muggle hospital to a much better private room where he was allowed more than two guests at a time. Though, right now he could not complain, what with his mouth being currently occupied. Remus who was currently hiding behind a muggle newspaper cleared his throat. Harry followed the lips until he was left simply kissing air. “Wow.” Charlie sat up with a smirk, not bothering to wipe at his mouth, instead he licked his lips much to Harry’s delight who knew how sinful that tongue that peeked out was. “Again!”

“There will be no again.” Sirius seethed from beside his mate, his glare switched between his godson and the second oldest son of the Weasley clan. “Your visiting time is over, get out Charlie.”

“See you around Harry.” Charlie said before leaving.

“Bye sweet lips.” Harry answered a dreamy look to his face before he settled into his pillow and dreamily eyed the plain white ceiling.

Remus snorted while Sirius grumbled.

******

The next day Harry was blissfully alone, not that he minded his guardians ever presence, but sometimes he just wished for the remote control all too himself. Flicking through stations he paused at a commercial of deodorant, he could have cared less about the product and more about the wet and almost naked man presenting it, of course he was wearing swimming trunks but Harry could lust. 

There was a knock at the door before it opened a crack. “Can we talk?”

“Sure Perce, pull up a seat.” Running a hand through his hair, Harry knew he was immaculate, a basin of water and a comb did do wonders, and of course he did have a natural beauty to him. 

Closing the door behind him Percy hesitantly took a seat, moving the chair closer than was truly necessary. He opened his mouth and quickly closed it; opening it again he cleared his throat. “Thank you.” The red head managed to blurt.

Harry couldn’t help a small smile, “It was nothing, of course now I just have to do your hair.”

Percy’s shoulders sagged in both relief and resignation. “Whatever you want, I do have a blood debt owed to you.”

Frowning, “No you don’t.

“Yes, I do. The killing curse was meant for me, if you hadn’t shoved me aside I wouldn’t be here.” Staring into green eyes he did have to admit were enticing, Percy swallowed the lump in his throat. “Mom insists she makes dinner for you, something special she says.”

“Oh, well, I do love that mince pie she makes… ooh, can she make those tuna melt sandwiches? I don’t know what she puts in them but they’re good! I can’t boil water so I can’t very well make them.”

Percy gave him a funny look. “That’s it? What else do you want? You have to want something I can give you, styling my hair isn’t enough for a blood debt.”

Harry sighed and clicked off the television, he did not care for the bouncing boobs that seemed to be in every blasted other commercial. “I don’t want anything… but…”

Percy inched forward in his seat. “Anything.”

Harry peered at the red head. “A kiss,” Percy drew back, his face tightening, “On the cheek.” Harry added.

“The cheek?” had he heard right?

Nodding, Harry carefully righted the breathing contraption that seem to slip off on occasion, as he settled the plastic thin tube behind his ear to secure it firmly in his nose, Percy watched on, guilt eating at his gut. “Sorry, damn thing is a bitch. Yes a kiss on the cheek, I’m not going to force you, after all you claim to be heterosexual.”

“I have a girlfriend,” Percy readily defended. “I plan to propose to her soon so she’ll be my fiancé.”

Harry smiled a happy one. “Good on you, congratulations. I’ll be sure to send you guys a few of my sketches, I’ve always wanted to dress a wedding.” Staring up at the ceiling lost in thought he missed Percy’s panicked look. “Of course if you guys don’t like it, which I can completely understand, I can pass some cards from a few friends who would gladly dress you all. Consider it a wedding gift.”

Percy gave a relieved smile. “Great, great, Penelope would like that. I know her mother’s been hinting of a designer they both love.”

“Good, now kiss me, it’s almost time for my bath and I have to convince the nurse to switch with that cute guy who brings me my lunch.”

Percy snorted, covering his mouth quickly. “Sorry.”

“Merlin you wouldn’t be if you looked at him. He’s this tall black guy with a smile to die for, I never seen such perfect teeth, I wonder how it would feel if he tried to molest me with them?”

“I did not need to hear that.”

“Well too bad, I cannot help my homosexual fantasies. In fact I have it on good authority you were in several.” Harry stated as a matter of fact.

Percy blushed. “I was not!”

“Trust me,” Harry leered. “You were, quite an insatiable red head you were.” 

His cheeks flushed and he stood, standing uncomfortable. “You keep your dirty pervy fantasies to yourself _without_ me.”

“Alright, no more pervy thoughts of you naked and involved in a very kinky orgy with an equally as delectable red head.”

“I will not be part of an incestuous tryst!”

“Fine, then I won’t have you, me, and that cute lunch man with a pair of cuffs stuck on a deserted island with nothing better to do but some hot sweaty loving.”

“No.” Percy glared down at the Slytherin.

Harry pouted. “How about…”

“No! There will be no hot sweaty homosexual intercourse when I’m concerned!” Percy shouted at the top of his lungs, unaware that the door had opened behind him.

Harry smiled, “Hi dad.”

Percy whirled around, his face reddened as he caught sight of not only Sirius who could not have been more shocked, to Remus and the accompanied doctor who was all smiles. Unable to form any words, Percy decided it was best to leave, before he went he swooped down, pecked the boy on the cheek and rushed out of the room, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

###  **End Part 3**

A/N: I'm not a Doctor or know much beyond a simple Bandaid use. **SO** the medical stuff above can be forgiven cuz that was all just pulled out my ass.

**A special thanks, hugs, cookies, and cuddles to those who gave me Kudos. Ya don't know how much I appreciate it. I really do. Thank you guys so much and to those who are still reading you all are the MVPs! Besos mi amors!**


	4. Chapter 4

#  **Gayer Than You**

### Part 4

The train gave a loud whistle; Harry quickly gave each man tight hugs that lingered and kisses galore before he had to rush off. “Love you!” Harry shouted behind him as he took off.

“No running!” shouted Sirius as Remus kept him from running himself and hovering over the boy.

Harry slowed to a fast walk, “Sorry, write you guys later.” Stepping up into the train that was that was beginning to pull away Harry waved.

“Once you get there.” Remus shouted, voice carrying in the wind.

Harry stuck out his thumb, he knew what he had to do, he had been lectured the whole week of what he could and could not do – it was annoying. “Miss you already!” his voice carried through the wind and no matter how annoyed he became he loved those two men more than life itself. 

**

The days and weeks passed, the weather became cooler, chillier but still the students persisted their tracks to the outside not wanting to be cooped up in the old castle. Outside beneath a tree, wearing gloves and scarves, sitting atop a blanket was a Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Normally it would be such an odd sight but the school had grown used to Harry’s ventures through each of the houses.

“I can’t believe this is your last year.” bemoaned Ginny, snuggling closer to her friend who was simply resting.

“Not that long anyhow for you.”

“True, but I’ll miss you when you’re gone, you’re my own gay snuggle bunny that bites.”

Harry heaved a sigh. “True there aren’t many greats such as I. I’m the pick of the litter; hopefully your brother comes around.”

Ginny giggled. “I can’t believe you and him.”

“Neither can I.” what were the odds? Him and that Weasley?

**

For a bit of money one could floo home – Harry opted to do so much to Ginny’s frustration, “I’ll see you on holiday; your mother invited me to that party of yours.” Harry had told her.

“It’s more of an engagement celebration, it’s the first of us getting married and mom is already talking of grandchildren.” Ginny wryly answered back before they both departed with a hug and kiss.

Harry didn’t think he would mind flooing, as a matter of fact, it would be his first time since his stay at the hospital that he would floo – and he would more than likely never do it again. Stumbling out of the hearth Harry found himself on his hands and knees gasping for breath as the ash had somehow made its way down his throat and clogged his nose before he could do his usual dramatic greeting. Like two swooping mother hens Remus and Sirius were beside him banishing the ash clinging to his robes and one of them rushed off to get his oxygen tank. 

Harry could feel his throat begin to tighten; the ache in his chest began to burn as he tried to get as much air into him. Gasping Harry could hear himself struggle and it scared him as his vision began to gray and slump against Remus who was trying to remain calm and tell him to breath, as if he would forgot, who forgot how to breath? A cool plastic cover was placed over his mouth and nose, a rush of pure oxygen mixed with a special potion helped ease open his throat and the strain in his chest was but an echo as the potion healed anything that could have been damaged. Resting against Remus he felt utterly exhausted and frustrated, Sirius’s shaky fingers carded through his hair and lips pressed a kiss on Harry’s brow he felt completely and totally useless but at least he still looked good.

**

Christmas had been subdued, still lively but when Harry had speed walked to their room and jumped on their bed and continued jumping they didn’t join him this year, instead they had pulled their boy down and held him, Harry was far from complaining. “I say we laze all day.” Harry suggested, snuggled between both men who were warm from sleep. If he had to wish had he still believed in Saint Nick, Harry wouldn’t trade this moment for all in the world and the only thing that could make this better if both men were his parents, officially his dads… it would be a wonderful wish to grant right?

“I second.” Sirius mumbled, already half asleep. Remus didn’t bother speaking; his nose was buried in his cub’s sleepy mess of locks and just basked in the boys scent.

But their stomachs eventually called for them to get up and for bowls of cereal, none were in the mood to attempt to cook. With second helpings taken to the living room, the adults settled on the couch while Harry sat on the floor by their feet, his eyes hungrily eyeing the gifts under the enormous tree whose star was lopsided considering the very tip of the tree was curved against the ceiling, yet again showing Sirius had outdone himself. 

**

Ginny stared… and continued to stare before a smile tugged at her lips and she just had to shove a cookie in her mouth to keep from laughing. There was a sigh beside her and she just knew her mother had caught sight of her friend. “That boy…” she mumbled before walking away, a shake to her head but a smile on her lips.

“Gin!” Harry waved from the entrance of the Burrow and headed straight for her, Ginny couldn’t keep her eyes off him even if she tried.

“Merry Christmas Harry.” Biting her lower lip she really couldn’t laugh in his face… but when his back was turned all bets were off. “Interesting… head piece.” And it was, it seemed her friend was sporting a small red ball for a nose that pulsed (Harry swore that Rudolph was gay and was just pouncing on every available tail), and a headband that came attached with a curved wire with a mistletoe hanging on the end, just ready to be used. 

Harry was all smiles, “Like my shirt?” 

Ginny’s eyes drifted down to his chest where in bold letters, “ _Wanna play a game?_ ” Harry turned around. **“** _Kiss the Gay **”**_ Pause. “Oh god Harry, no!” Her eyes drifted below those words to an underlined word, **“** _Rules._ **”** Beneath that were numbers of actual rules. **“** One, not playable for woman… Two, gayness not required to play… **”** Sigh. “Harry, how did they let you out of the house like this?”

“I told them I wouldn’t molest any Weasley while I was here if they let me wear what I wanted.”

“So you came as a gay reindeer and a mistletoe?”

“If I can’t molest others than why not have others molest me?” Harry’s logic was only understandable to himself. 

Of course Ginny had to shove another cookie in her mouth. From her little corner she watched friends and family mingle and generally enjoy the festivities. She watched as her very amusing friend stepped up to each available man and flirted shamelessly, his antics were either brushed aside with amusing acceptance or told straight out that they were straight – Harry merely pouted and walked away. Eyes drifting to the twins she watched as they cornered her third oldest brother – Percy.

“Come on Perce,” George spoke.

“Did you kiss him?” Fred finished, both twins looking expectantly. 

Percy flushed. “Have you no shame!” and with that he brushed passed his brothers and sat beside his fiancé.

Ginny skillfully made her way through the crowd and sided herself beside Harry who was shamelessly flirting with an uncle who was not only straight but stuttering himself silly. Looping her arm around his she pulled him away, her uncle gracing her with a relieved smile as he mopped at his brow with a handkerchief. “Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“Did Percy kiss you?” from the corner of her eye she watched as he peered at her, face going slack.

“Why?”

“No reason, just the twins are harassing him, normally I would be all for you trying to kiss my brothers but they’ll really molest you if you’re interested.”

Harry’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Oh yes, they like you.”

“Would you like some punch?”

“No, go have fun.” Ginny watched as Harry made his way to the punch bowl, right where the twins were currently crowded around. Soon words were exchanged and as Harry took one of the twins cup of punch, drinking it in one go, Harry was lead, by the hand, up the flight of stairs with nary a protest.

“Where’s he going?” Ron questioned from behind, his napkin filled with sweets.

Ginny turned and smiled prettily. “It’s their turn; I guess they wanted a little more privacy.”

Ron frowned, his hand that held the sweets inside a napkin clenched. “For what, it’s a kiss; he’s wearing a blasted mistletoe on his head for Merlin’s sake.”

Giving him a look Ginny answered. “You know how the twins are; they talked nonstop about _Their Turn_. You never know, they might be doing more than a quick snog.” Ron’s frown changed to a scowl, the mangled sweets in his hands were dropped on the first available table as he made his way out of the expanded crowded room, grabbing his winter coat before leaving the party altogether, Ginny watched him go with a sad sort of expression. 

**

Harry bounced on one of the two twin beds that were pushed together into a corner. “Nice.” He said as he bounced again without that annoying squeak most mattresses had. 

Peering at his watch he bit at his bottom lip, fully aware he was being watched. “I say six minutes before we’re interrupted… but that should be decent enough for him to wonder.” The last was said close to a mutter but the twins heard him, if their rising browse were a testament to that.

“Who’s this him?” Spoke up George.

Harry peered at them, laughter brightening his eyes. “If you really want to know, first kiss me.” Puckering his lips he didn’t have to wait too long.

**

Percy swirled the drink in his cup, ignoring the glare aimed at him by his fiancé… he refused to be cowed. “No.”

With a huff she crossed her arms at her chest. “Percy.”

“No, I’m with you, I can’t do it.” Downing the rest of it he stood to refill his cup, only to find that he was being followed.

“I don’t mind, it’s only this one time, I couldn’t possibly be jealous.”

“Penelope, love,” turning he caught her by the arms, his hold gentle. “I’m not gay, I kissed him once already, and he was fine with it.”

She glared, “I’m not. Kissing him does not label you gay, your brothers’ kissed him and you don’t see them strutting around with a shirt that says _Kiss the Gay_!” 

“Bill’s half gay and Charlie… Charlie would shag anything that’s willing.” Heaving a put upon sigh he made his way to the punch bowl where he refilled his cup. “Will you stop, I won’t do it.”

“Fine, but I hope you know it was pretty cowardly of you to simply kiss him on the cheek after everything he has done for you, us. After all he not only _saved_ your _life_ but he also set _me_ up with an appointment with Gloria Glittany, **THE** Gloria Glittany.” Marching back to her seat she sat with a pout, pulling out the big guns considering she knew Percy couldn’t stand her pouting.

Emptying his cup again he made to reach for the ladle when his hand collided with a familiar one. “Harry?” looking up he couldn’t help suck a breadth as he easily noticed the thin almost translucent tubes going from the Slytherin's nostrils, across pale cheeks and tucked behind his ears, Percy knew already that the tubes ran downward where a nifty contraption was attached to the pants and was held together by not only muggle technology but pure magic at its most complex form for something so… simple. He couldn’t help but feel a mountain of guilt. “What happened?”

Ducking his head, Harry’s cheeks flushed red; he easily busied himself with pouring himself a cup of punch. “I was in the twins room, one of their inventions sort of went off when I knocked against one of their tables.”

“You okay?” worried, Percy reached out for his hand.

Harry managed a tight smile. “Yea, Sirius is on dog watch so he got there before I had too big of a reaction.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat he could do nothing but nod, he didn’t know but what could he say? He watched as Harry turned and prepared to walk away but he couldn’t just let the boy walk away. “Wait… Harry.”

“Yea?” Harry turned; he took a sip of his punch, watching as Percy shuffled on his feet before moving closer.

Before he lost his nerve, Percy leaned forward and quickly pressed his lips against pliant ones beneath his. “Merry Christmas.” Murmuring quickly he rushed to his fiancés side, refusing to hyperventilate.

Harry simply stood there, his eyes slightly glazed over, a small smile curving his lips. It was a simple kiss… but it was a nice one. Wanting a little air, Harry moved to his guardian’s side and told them he would be just outside the door; they hesitantly allowed him to go.

Penelope perked up as Percy neared, standing she went to him and put her arms around his waist and smiled. “Thank you.” Percy ducked his head and kissed her. 

**

Winter passed quickly enough and Harry wasn’t any closer to healing properly, the good news was that the Death Eaters that had attacked were put on trial. He wasn’t made to go, thank Merlin, but his alpha dad told him all about them trying to resurrect their old lord. The thought of that mad man returning was enough to give him nightmares of bursts of green and a pair of red eyes that chased him. Harry never could tell his uncles what they were about, feigning forgetfulness but Remus contacted a friend who helped with the situation. A pot of burning herbs had been brought in and at first Harry had been skeptical, the smell was odd but he conceded after the first night as it helped ease him into a restful sleep and didn’t irritate his asthma. 

His only complaint so far was not of classes or homework but the paper that kept babbling about ‘Rogue Dementor’s’ that were always spotted here or there. Of course Harry never believed a lick of the Daily Prophet, he enjoyed the crossword puzzles and the short comics but other than that he considered the paper complete and utter rubbish but his guardians sure took it to heart and warned him not to wander too far from the school or Hogsmead. The Daily Prophet was well known for embellishing facts and outright lying but to print something as dangerous as a Dementor had to have at least a grain of truth and neither man were willing to take the chance. 

For a spring afternoon the air still had a slight chill to it had Professor Snape’s seventh year Potions Class wrapping themselves warmly in their outer robes and an extra layer of clothes as they all ventured into the forbidden forest, wands in hand. Each pair had a basket in hand and stern instructions not to venture passed preset markers less they become ingredients themselves. 

With mixed partners, Harry immediately latched himself to Ron who was the less squeamish of the bunch. “You’re man enough, you can pick away at the bugs.” Harry’s words were graced with an eye roll before wandering off with Harry close behind. Quiet lapsed between the two as they glanced at their list of ingredients: a mixture of plants, moss, and roots. Scavenging the forest floor with critical eyes and flicks of a wand the two stood well within the perimeter marked by orbs of floating red light scattered about but soon they found themselves relatively alone as the other pairs pushed forward staying close to Professor Snape. 

“Can I ask you something?” Ron managed to speak up, the tip of his ears burning as he looked around to be sure they were indeed alone.

Harry wasn’t paying much attention; too busy staring at an oddly shaped mushroom, “Sure.” He poked the fungus with a twig he had carried around for this very purpose.

“Why won’t you kiss me? You’ve kissed all my other brothers.” Harry’s hand stilled, for a moment he was shocked by the question, a pleasant sort of surprise.

Standing he dropped the twig and wiped his manicured fingers on his pant legs, “Your straight Ron, my homosexual powers of persuasion, unfortunately, can only persuade so much.” Continuing his trek through the forest in a lazy sort of way, he looked around, not really bothering to continue their assignment. Professor Snape would never flunk one of his Snakes, even Harry Potter.

Ron licked his lips, he was a Gryffindor for a reason he reminded himself. Moving forward walking beside the humming Slytherin he played it cool as if he weren’t a mass of nerves on the insides. “But what If I want you to kiss me?”

Harry’s steps paused. Turning his head slightly he gave Ron a small smile. “No. I won’t accept a kiss from you if only because every one of your brothers had… done… so.” A noise caught the Slytherin’s attention, his words trailing. Peering through the gaps of the low hanging branches and shrubbery he completely missed the red heads scowl.

Reaching out Ron took Harry’s hand in his, curling his fingers that had dirt beneath the uneven and bitten nails with Harry’s immaculate ones. “I don’t want to do it because of them.”

Glancing down at their entwined hands Harry stared into Ron's blue eyes, his own green hardening. “I’m sorry…” taking a step back both ignored the tingle that crawled along their skin as they parted. “But I can’t.”

Face reddening, “Why not!”

“Because.” Defiant, Harry tilted his head, chin set.

“Because why?”

Harry’s eyes narrowed, “Because I like you.” There, he had said it. “I can’t kiss you Ron, not because your straight, hell Percy’s straight and he kissed me, but I don’t like any of your brother’s the way I like you. I couldn’t do that to myself.” Ron's eyes widened at the Slytherin’s confession. “Don’t you even try to ask me why I managed to fall for a heterosexual but I did and my bloody plan of seducing you is over.” Stalking away, he glared as his arm was taken. “Can you just please leave me alone!”

“No.” Ron stepped in front of Harry loosing himself in a pair of annoyed eyes and something in him twitched. “What plan?”

Harry glared and stilled his attempts to break free; he could feel himself getting warm in the face. “Ginny always said you were the type to get jealous so I played against your weakness.” A dark look was aimed at him. “Hey, I’m a Slytherin; I don’t play nice all the time. So I decided to get you to notice me in a sexual way besides some _fag_ you talk about with your friends, I made sure you watched as your brothers were allowed something you weren’t, me.” Looking away, his own satisfied face falling, crumbling, he continued. “But it backfired. I thought I could be satisfied with a kiss but I know I wouldn’t.” Harry stepped closer, Ron stepping back, their eyes remained locked. “You know what it’s like to want something, need something but be unable to grasp it.” Ron's back hit something solid leaving him helpless as the Slytherin pressed against him. 

“Harry?” his voice broke.

“I’m a selfish bastard, what I want I normally get.” Reaching out, his finger tips brushed aside locks of red hair and tucked it behind a freckled ear. “There are only two things in my life I can’t have but wish desperately for. Remus and Sirius to _truly_ be my parents and you, ever since we first met on the train I was fascinated by you, you’re the reason I chose Ginny as one of my muses, it was because of you I did so many stupid things.” Harry’s soft expression turned hard and he backed away. “I won’t act a fool because of you **ever** again.”

**

No one enjoyed an upset Harry Potter; Harry Potter didn’t enjoy an upset Harry Potter. The weeks had flown by until exams were just around the corner and every student of every level were nose deeps in books that sometimes had only been cracked open once and if some were honest, never at all. Currently, Harry was the only odd ball without a text open; he simply shrugged and said “I know what I know, no sense going gray.” And it was true, there were more than a handful of students who simply resented his flippant attitude but Harry… well Harry couldn’t have cared less.

Truth be told he was sick and tired of walking on egg shells, he was tired of being tired, he was frustrated about the state of his health, he hated carrying around his blasted portable oxygen tank who he renamed Oxy. Of course to help the complete drab look of the machine he had quickly bought muggle materials, seeing as anything magical would leave it unusable, so as every day passed he found himself using it just a bit more more but now he didn’t mind all too much now that it was fit to be attached to him with glitter and a general array of colors instead of that draby charcoal gray. There was a reason why the Healers and Muggle Doctors told him no ‘strenuous’ activity.

It was an act of rebellion, every teenager at some point and time had rebelled but this time Harry went against his guardian’s express wishes and broke promises he crossed his heart over. His word was everything but if they or anyone didn’t know and he wasn’t about to snitch on himself so what was the harm? With the warmer weather Harry found himself sneaking out at nights and flying a top of the line broom Sirius insisted on collecting. While Harry didn’t play professionally in any sort of broom sport, Sirius and him had an odd fascination when it came to brooms and trying to break them in until they were a stuttering mess.

A room had been solely dedicated to them and those that hung on the wall encased in their own frame were brooms that weren’t usable, either by their hands or by age. All worn out from diving, twirling, and performing feats only seen in stadiums around the world or in Harry’s case read from books or made up by himself like the drop and catch; a feat in itself that was a forbidden trick in the presence of Moony who swore his heart had stopped the first time he saw it.

While at one time it had been fun, since being ill Harry hadn’t been able to move like he once had. There was more to riding a broom than just sitting and tilting, one had to use their own magic to push past the standard charms, there were grip adjustments and your heart would pound furiously in your chest as the adrenaline rushed making you break out in a sweat.

**

**_So close… the power… the darkness… so close… so close… so close… yet so far… far… far… they wanted it… they needed it… feed… feed… thrive…. Thrive… mate… mate…_**

**

It was over; the exams were finally over and as Dinner came on the last day of the school week right after the last exam for the year. You could feel the relief in the air and Hogwarts herself take one giant breadth as the tension drained away from the school. Stew was on the menu that night, pots of it were scattered on every table, along with chunky pieces of bread and the heavy side dishes were just the thing to satisfy rumbling stomachs and bring relief to those who over extended their magic with practical’s. It was a hearty dish everyone dug into with gusto. 

Best of all it was a Friday.

“Hey Potter.” Malfoy’s drawl and general air of ‘better than though’ was annoying and Harry wanted nothing more than to slam his tart into the boys face… but he held back, the house elves had outdone themselves that night.

“Malfoy.” Shoving the rest of the sweet into his mouth he licked at his sticky fingers.

Malfoy JR shoved aside a sixth year and took a seat beside Harry, straddling the bench and simply staring at him with an expression of extreme pleasure. “I’ve watched you, you know.”

Harry quirked a perfectly waxed and plucked eye brow. “Really now, It’s only fair if I return the favor.” Purring Harry watched with great delight as Slytherin's silvery eyes clouded with lust, no matter how much the boy vehemently denied it, Harry knew that Draco had at least some gay in him. “How may I service you Malfoy, I mean be of service?”

Quickly the Malfoy heir turned his head, a slight blush staining pale cheeks. “You fly.”

Harry’s humor melted away, his eyes became cold; he was getting good at looking ominous… he just hoped he didn’t get premature wrinkles. “So.”

Malfoy was his cool and composed self again, “Something happened over the summer, no one’s talking, even my sources can’t tell me why you’re always carrying that thing around but I do know that you’re not the same.”

“Oh? What makes you think you know me so well?” 

“Because you’re no longer your _eccentric_ gay self,” Harry’s lips pressed tightly together. “Oh don’t get me wrong, you’re gayer than anyone in this school, this hemisphere even but that spark in your eye is gone.”

“Alright so it’s been noted that my sparkle is missing but what does that have to do with you spying on me? If I find nude pictures of me in any tabloid I am so going to bitch slap the magic out of you.”

Malfoy scowled, “I didn’t take any pictures of you naked!”

Harry leered, “But you don’t deny seeing me naked.” Malfoy flushed as he glared. Harry tossed his loose hair over his shoulder, he needed a trim he noticed, “What do you want Malfoy?”

“The last game for the cup is against Gryffindor, I’ve watched you and I want you to be our Seeker for the game, I’ve already arranged an accident for Malcom.”

Harry laughed, “And get slaughtered.”

Malfoy scowled, “We will win.” He had no doubt.

With a shake to his head and smile playing on his lips Harry answered honestly, “If my uncles caught wind that I even touched my broom for nothing more than lazy circles around the pitch, I would be slaughtered. My cuteness wouldn’t stop them from killing me.”

Malfoy smirked. “I have two ways around that. Will you do it Potter?”

He shouldn’t… really he shouldn’t. Harry hesitated but in the end he gave an answer he was sure would lead to his death. Oh well, he lead a fulfilling life.

**

It had been set, no one (besides the team) was the wiser, it was a perfect plan concocted by Draco Malfoy himself – he could be a brilliant little bastard when he wanted to. A sworn oath was easily accepted by the Slytherin team; Harry refused to play without one. Just one uttered word of his _help_ could mean life and death. The night before Malcom Bringerly had an _accident_ which would force him to be under the tender care of Madame Pomfrey.

As a twelfth generation Slytherin Malcom understood the importance of winning the Quidditch cup for the house and was more than willing to allow Potter some of his hair, as far as the world would know it would be Malcom who won the game so he was just fine by that. The strands of hair would be dropped into a flask secured around the new seekers waist, just enough for a sip or two.

In the background the crowds were rowdy, students from every year and teachers were present for the last game of the year, it would be one of the largest crowds throughout the year. “There are no rules stating that masks can’t be used on the field.” Malfoy passed out masks that were a dark Slytherin green with strips of silver painted in stripes going in different directions for each player. “We will wear these first on our heads giving the crowd a glimpse of our faces, Malcom’s especially.” 

Malfoy glanced around at his team and eyed Potter who was shamelessly flirting with a Beater who was eyeing the teen like a hungry wolf. Shameful. “I want a clean game; let’s show them Slytherin is more than cheap shots. Of course with them being Gryffindor’s they’re as oblivious as muggles, so be the snakes I know you lot are.” The speech was short, they all knew this was the chance to squash the lions and they would be damned if they lost - a win was guaranteed, they had Potter.

Before they knew it, they were on the field masks in place and brooms between the legs.

*

Death, Harry was sure, wouldn’t be swift. He wanted to cry and curl up in a ball and pray to the heavens and scream out, “Why!” why him, why now, why must fate be such a bitch? Dramatics aside Harry gripped his broom and took even breadths, it wouldn’t do for him to have an attack hundreds of feet above the air, that would be too easy of a way out plummeting to his death, no he would probably survive and **then** he would die a horrible death by the hands of the very two men who chose today of all days to visit Hogwarts.

A day when he should have met them at the stands, a day where he should be snuggled between them and just basking but no; he was stuck straddling a broom after digesting a nasty potion wearing a tacky mask. 

Shifting his grip Harry dived but veered as a bludger came his way and once again he lost sight of the snitch. Forcing himself to return to the game Harry soon lost himself, his competitive spirit coming out and after several taunts form the Gryffindor’s Harry was out for blood. 

The game should be the focus of all his attention. It was his first ‘professional’ Quidditch match… so he mustn’t panic, there was no reason to panic. 

Well fuck, Harry dived…

Panic, blind panic, first it was from seeing familiar faces in the crowd, two familiar faces that he didn’t understand why they were there… but they were and they were watching. It had been as he was reaching for the snitch, it was a steep dive but he knew he would be able to catch it, he could feel it touch his fingertips but it suddenly veered and he had barely enough time to pull up, a grunt passing his lips, the broom under him shuddered but he could handle it, he could handle any broom, his magic allowed him to, pulling up he never felt so alive since before that fateful summer, he could feel his heart thrum with his excitement and he couldn’t help spiraling twice and hanging upside down where he blew a kiss to a startled Beater of the opposing team… looking back that had to be a stupid move considering two people had stood from the stands, in outrage and in fear.

But the feeling of freedom and general happiness was short lived as the snitch hovered before his sight and once again he chased after it eagerly, moving against the wind, winding through the quaffle’s… and ignoring the loud whistle of Madame Hooch, he was too busy following the speck of gold that rose higher and higher through the air, just out of reach… almost there. 

It was the sudden drop of temperature that alerted him that he had to pull back; he could feel the intense cold as it tightened his chest and he wheezed. Arching his broom to loop and dive straight down numbness enveloped him as the overwhelming cool air had his teeth chattering and fingers numbly gripping his broom for dear life. Down he went, piercing through the sky as if he were the hot knife through the butter, for a moment he heard the screams of students and then it was as if his ears popped he couldn’t hear nothing but his own thump… thump… thump… of his heart. 

Pulling out of the dive his chest ached and his breadth came out in strain puffs of air as he stared at the two frantic men waving their arms in the air wand in hand and Harry was sure they were yelling but the drum in his chest was loud and pulsing. Glancing around Harry watched as the stands were emptying save for the professors with the most peculiar expressions, why would they stop the game, he hadn’t even caught the bloody snitch? 

Shaky fingers reaching up to pull his mask up and demand an explanation Harry was startled when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. It was a sharp and painful current of fire mingled with ice that shot down his arm and prickled his fingers and the broom reacted by jerking and Harry reacted by instinct. 

The mask was forgotten, the game, and he ignored the painful lurch in his chest as he leaned forward and pushed his magic out to zoom through the air away from whatever it was that had _touched_ him. Flying fast and hard away from the pitch he knew he was being followed, he didn’t want to turn his head and see what it was, all he knew as he zig zagged through the air was that he needed to get away and keep it away from his guardians. 

Sirius and Remus were in the forefront of his mind, fear and panic gripped at him and he refused to release their hold. It helped fuel him to push onward and when the cold became too concentrated he would swerve, dive, and roll around the towers of Hogwarts a plan quickly forming in his mind. Turning sharply around a corner and under a bridge he hid himself beneath it and clamped a hand over his mouth to hush his painful wheezing. His chest heaved and he coughed into his hand, the taste of blood on his tongue worried him but he swallowed it down and wipe his hand on his robes.

For a moment the cold had faded leaving behind silence and chills, Harry wasn’t sure if he should move or stay put only seconds had past. What if he hadn’t lost them? What if they were waiting for him to peak out to kill him? Worse than that what if Sirius or even Remus were just waiting to flay into him! The what if’s came to a screeching halt when a creature draped in heavy black robes swooped beneath the bridge and hovered before him and Harry forgot to breathe; this monster was the same creature that had been on the front page of the Daily Prophet. 

Rogue Dementor’s who left their post at Azkaban with the Dark Lord’s botched resurrection… damn Black/Potter/Lupin luck! Staring into the empty void that was the hood of the Dementor’s cloak and Harry found that he was frozen not from the cloud of icy air enveloping him but the skeletal hand that peeked from the sleeve as the Creature beckoned him forward, **towards** it. 

Fear gripped his throat and as the moment of silence passed it was pierced by a screech from beneath the hood and once again instincts kicked in. In his panic Harry didn’t realize what direction he was headed for, all that mattered was that he flew away from the creature only his broom was pointed towards the Forbidden Forest, hoping to lose them before he lost his life. 

### End of Part 4

 **A/N** : Dun! Dun! Dunnnn! The 'adventure' & 'Drama' shall continue and the following chapters will be a tad more serious and wtf was i thinking sorta stuff but plz feel free to ask any questions :)


	5. Chapter 5

#  **Gayer Than You**

### Part 5

_The ground was hard, the rocks jagged beneath him, his chest was tight, his lungs burned with every breath, but he needed to stand… he couldn’t… give up… **darkness…**_

****

******

Relapse. 

The word bounced through Sirius’s head as he sat and stared at his godson… no, his **son**. It had taken him years but he finally got over his guilt and apprehension but he was finally ready to sign the papers that had rested beneath the mattress on his side of the bed, Remus had signed them immediately once he was able to but the thoughts of his old friends of so long ago haunted him. 

But finally he had let go, he couldn’t deny the wants of not only his mate but himself and so he signed the formal adoption papers and had them sent to the Ministry where he had no doubt they would be taken care of quickly considering they bent over backwards for him – after all they did falsely imprison him for a short time. 

It was why they had gone to Hogwarts, they wanted to tell Harry that he was now a Black-Lupin on top of Potter if he so wished. He planned to tell his **son** that they would do the blood ritual in the summer so he had enough time to heal… there was so much to be said that needed to be said. 

****

******

_The broom quivered, it dropped then rose higher in the air as another pulse of magic forced it on, it seemed that the broom had reached its limit with the continuous shower of magic pushed into its already limited reserve. He didn’t want to get too deep within the forest – what was worse: acromantulas, centaurs, or stupid persistant Dementors? So he had backtracked and then retraced his route to confuse his trackers, because there just had to be more than one to torment him, until the creatures had finally had enough._

****

******

Death. 

It was a scary thought and Remus had faced the grim reaper too many times to count. Werewolves had remarkable healing abilities but even then they tended to live short lives with so many close calls that the cold breath and constant clang of the Grim's scythe haunted many dreams – his own included. He had known true fear several times in his life, once when he was in school and he had gone mad with the thought he had cursed someone like he was, the second and third were surrounded around one person and said person had died more times than there were fingers on his scarred hand. 

From the beginning he always thought of Harry as _his_. His cub, the one he couldn’t have as his real true one for obvious reasons, he had missed out on a portion of his cub’s life and vowed to never allow that to happen again. He wanted his cub to be his **son** , tied to him more than the love in his heart but by blood that only magic would allow. Staring at his son’s pale face, slack with illness, he took in the dark circles and pale lips that looked odd without that hint of color from glittery lip-gloss. Remus’s eyes roamed and he tried hard not to stare at the many contraptions attached to his cub, once again they were here and once again he was left in the dark whether or not if he would see his child smile again. 

Fiddling with the sheets making sure they were tucked and smoothing Harry’s hair Remus took his hand and pressed cold skin against his lips and prayed. Sirius had finally signed the papers to make what he already felt official but was it too late? No! He couldn’t think like that, he refused to. It would be a matter of time, a waiting game for his son to be up and about so they could tell him. They would hug, cry, make plans… a sob choked him up but Remus held it in. Harry would wake up and the world would be right again – never perfect because there was doubt if Harry would be in perfect health but Harry would be alive and when he woke there would be a long talk and an even longer grounding. 

****

******

_They swooped in; it was a flurry of cold and wariness as he hovered between consciousness. He could feel the pressure on all sides and the fear of hypothermia let his mind wander and he was caught by surprise when one of them grabbed his arm and yanked him off his broom. He wanted to scream but his teeth couldn’t stop chattering and he was struggling too hard to breath let alone grunt. With the last of his strength he wiggled and kicked his legs, anything to dislodge that hold and he thought he had but the fall was brief and his wrist was taken instead._

_He felt himself being lowered with the tops of the trees brushing along his legs and dragging along his robes until one pierced through the fabric of his cloak. The jerk snapped his neck back and the hold on his numb wrist to release. Tangled within the trees Harry’s luck didn’t last long as a tearing sound was met with his decent from branch to branch and a free fall to meet the unforgiving ground below._

****

******

Fear. 

Confusion. 

The world was a blur of white and then darkness. He could feel fingers lifting one lead and then the other, the pain from that bright light forced him to try to move and jerk his head but he winced instead. The hands moved and he could hear the muffled sound of voices. He couldn’t understand what was being said or who was speaking… all that mattered was that bright light didn’t return. Time slipped on by and he wasn’t sure if he had slipped into unconsciousness or had it been mere seconds? It was sheer will that pried his eyes apart and he closed them. The brightness of the room stung but he adjusted and he was left to stare at the ceiling. 

Lazily he tried to move only he found that he couldn’t. Sure his limbs felt heavy but the restraints were heavier and then he began to truly panic. Where was he? Why couldn’t he move? What was happening? The machines around him began to beep as his heart felt ready to burst out of his chest and short quick breadths passed his lips as his eyes roamed in every direction unable to move his head much more than a twitch. 

There was a stampede of sound and soon unfamiliar faces were peering down at him and he wanted to cry out as something foreign was placed over his mouth and a gush of pure oxygen filled him. What was going on… and who was this Harry person they were talking about? 

****

******

Awareness came with a scream lodged in his throat, he could feel tears gather at his eyes and when they fell they made it so far before they crystallized from the intense cold. 

Harry wanted to scream, he wanted to sob, he wanted to beg for his life but he was too numb to feel the cold let alone move as the Dementor hovered above him. Their clouded breaths mingled and his senses were clogged with the musky smell of decaying flesh. 

First sight was the face of a monster nightmares were made of. A scream bubbled in his chest but he couldn’t release it, fear kept him in place, too scared to move, too scared to remember to blink, too terrified to do nothing but lay motionless and hear the furious thump of his heart… 

****

******

“Harry?” 

Harry? Who was Harry? 

“Remy get the doctor, nurse, somebody!” 

There was a face directly above him, the lips moved but he couldn’t hear anything, the world seemed to narrow down to that face, one that held relief but now panic, and before he could even attempt to speak the world tilted and he knew no more. 

****

******

Magic, it was ingrained in everyone, some had very little to do anything, there were others that had enough magic to tare worlds apart and as he laid motionless, the face he would never and could never forget creeping ever closer, mouth gaping open, he wondered if maybe if he were somewhere in the middle. Sure he was able to do a few nice things others couldn’t but he didn’t have the power to incinerate towns with a simple spell, at the very most he could summon wandlessly and was halfway through anigmus training. Yet… even though he behaved totally and completely gay, wore stuff that had his uncle Sirius taking a stiff drink, and was the top fashion designer Harry knew that even through his flirtiest smile or bat of eyes it was a pose. 

On the surface he was sugary sweet, a row of perfectly bleached teeth, and hair that made the top styling magazine several times he knew what he was deep down. He had his own secret darkness, he had a gift to speak with serpents, and he had a vindictive streak that would put Draco Malfoy to shame. At home he was a sweet teen who wanted to please his guardians but in his rooms, in the privacy of his mind, he wanted more… so much more. 

That Darkness bubbled to the surface and the dark void of the Dementers gaze and the gaping mouth sucked not his soul from his body but the well hidden whisps of his evil twin… bone fingers touched his cheek as a caress and he was plunged again into darkness but he wasn’t alone… 

****

******

The hours were uncountable and soon the tube that enabled him to speak were removed and he struggled to breath on his own, a face mask helped him but after a minute of simply concentrating he grew annoyed with it, he wasn’t invalid. Forcing it away, much to the nurse’s disapproval he growled, it was an honest to god growl that startled her. He knew he couldn’t speak just yet but his glare spoke for him as the nurse tried to reattempt to replace the mask. 

“Mr. Potter,” a man in white spoke, his smile all teeth. “I’m Doctor Smith.” 

With half an ear he listened, his eyes looked around the sterile room with cool eyes that seemed so unlike him. He met the gazes of two men who seemed oddly familiar yet not, he couldn’t help but stare back before something nudged him and he was once again forced to pay attention to the doctor. He listened as questions were asked, simply listened, not a word passed his lips; he just stared until the doctor shifted where he stood. He watched as the doctor removed a slim flashlight from his breast pocket, a hand reached out towards him and Harry bared his teeth, “Touch me and I’ll kill you.” 

****

******

Ginny blinked, her mouth opened and quickly closed again, she was speechless. Shaking her head she breathed out, “What?” 

“He’s not himself.” Remus answered, the only one of the two able to speak considering Sirius was curled at his feet as Padfoot. “The doctors claim its Amnesia but we’re not sure.” 

“Amnesia forgets who you are, there’s a chance he’ll come back.” 

“We’re hoping so…” trailing off Remus took a deep breath before continuing on. “This Harry is so far from our Harry that it’s unbelievable. Harry may have been Slytherin but this one is **the** Slytherin bastard, he’s surpassed Snape.” 

“Harry couldn’t be that bad, is he still gay?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then that’s not too much of a change.” 

“Ginny, before this Harry we had our Harry, the Harry who pranced around being so flamboyant he farted rainbows, this one on the other hand is the hotter version of Snape and Malfoy SR wrapped together.” Padfoot snorted on the floor. “You should hear him in his room; he’s plotting to take over the damn world!” 

“With what, one chiffon at a time?” Ginny couldn’t possibly what was being said. 

“He says he’ll only tell us if we join him in his new regimen. He’ll make a new world order, where Voldemort and all those other dick heads failed he’ll succeed, his words not mine.” 

“Is he still designing? He has a show this coming winter.” 

“Unless you can somehow mix snow with black leather and battle armor; I managed to copy one of his drafts and sent it to one of my Auror friends, they want to hire him.” Ginny couldn’t, really she couldn’t, hold in her laughter anymore. “It’s not funny!” 

Wiping at her eyes, cheeks red, Ginny calmed… for a moment before tilting over on the couch and resuming. “Oh Merlin… Ok… ok… I’ll talk to him.” 

****

******

The walls were a soft blue, a single window brought soft light from the sun, it was a simple room, so not what anyone would have expected from Harry Potter. There were no splashes of color, no pink comforter, or even a poster of a bare chested Quidditch player, instead it was neat and tidy. There was a bed that was decadent with its goose down mattress and comforter a Slytherin green, beneath the window was one table that was scattered with parchment, chalk, colored pencils, and erasers. 

To the side of that were a row of manikins, six in fact, that pressed against the wall already dressed, beside them was a partition of carved wood that was just enough space away from the wall that Harry could slip behind and seemingly disappear and to reappear with a roll of fabric or cut pieces… tonight, Harry was currently sitting at his desk, garbed in black and hands stained with charcoal, “Enter.” He shouted, the knock on the door annoying him after the fourth repetition. 

Ginny peeked around the door, her brows arching. The last time she was here the room had resembled a war zone of fabric, tape, papers, and hair pieces. Walking inside she closed the door with a soft click, “I don’t think the Wizarding world is ready for that sort of fashion statement.” Eyes staring at the manikins she took in the leather, suede, and chain links. 

“I have better things to do than some stupid run way.” Harry mumbled as he carefully retraced a line. 

“This is your winter collection, you’ve always favored this time of year.” 

“Like I said, I have better things to be concerned about; I can’t rule the world with some stupid show.” 

Throwing herself on the bed she plucked one of the most sinfully comfortable pillows from the stack and snuggled against it, “I’m game, where do we start first?” 

Harry’s hand stilled, carefully he set the chalk down and turned in his seat. “Aren’t you going to stop me?” frowning, “At least attempt to convince me not to?” 

Ginny shrugged a shoulder, “Why should I?” 

“Because you’re a Gryffindor.” 

“And you’re a Slytherin.” 

“You’ve talked to my parents haven’t you, they weren’t too happy when I tried to reason with them. They were part of Dumbledore’s Order; I’m not idiot enough to lower them to some menial position.” 

Rolling over she stretched out and kicked off her shoes, “I’m fine as long as there’s no homework on Friday’s.” 

Harry smiled, “I knew I could count on you. You can be second in command, a total bitch on those special days.” 

Ginny gave him a look, “I don’t need any _special days_ to be a complete bitch.” It was no fun being on the losing side and though Ginny was sure this change in her best friend wasn’t permanent, Merlin Forbid, she would never abandon him. Glancing over at the manikins she had to admit at least she would look good being bad. 

****

******

For the umpteenth time Sirius checked his watch, “She’s been up there quite a while.” 

“Give it some time Sirius, it takes a while to get through that boy’s stubbornness, he’ll see reason.” 

“Yea well…” their conversation was interrupted with Ginny flouncing in… wearing a completely different outfit than when she came in. “What the bleeding hell are you wearing?” Sirius nearly dropped his tea cup. 

“Oh, this little ol’ thing?” Ginny took a moment to pose as dramatically as he could muster before tossing her hair over her shoulder and owning her new position in life. This **was** fun. 

“Yes, that thing.” Sirius narrowed his eyes, Remus on the other hand rested against the fridge and watched, a smile twitching his lips which he hid behind a cup of tea. “You’re supposed to discourage the brat not lead him on.” 

“Well, I can’t really be Second in Command wearing a dress now can I?” making her way to the fridge, Remus moving to lean against the counter, she pulled out packs of deli meat wrapped in butchers paper. 

“You can’t be serious.” 

Pulling out bread from the bread box and returning to the fridge for mayonnaise she settled herself at the table. “If Harry, my best friend, wants to take over the world then I say let him, he has some nice ideas actually.” Accepting a butter knife and plates from Remus she assembled two mammoth sandwiches, who knew building a new world order made you so hungry? “He has no plan in killing anyone unless we got to war, he’s the Boy-Who-Lived, he can easily become Minister of Magic and take over then.” 

Staring, Sirius stood, “I need a drink.” Opening a cabinet he pulled a clear crystal container of alcohol and poured a liberal amount into his warm tea. Taking a much needed sip he continued, “He can’t take over the world.” 

“Why not, I think it’ll be fun.” Ginny flashed a toothy smile before licking a stray dollop of mayonnaise from her finger. 

Taking another sip of his drink he answered, “You can’t become ruler of the world if you haven’t grown any chest hair.” 

Ginny paused tilting her head to the side as Remus choked on his tea. “He uses a potion in his bath, he can’t stand body hair.” 

Sirius wrinkled his nose, “There’s nothing wrong with body hair we have body hair.” Gesturing towards himself and Remus, “It’s manly.” 

“Well in case you forgot Harry isn’t as manly, he may have manly bits, but he acts like a drama queen… he is a queen.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Sirius mumbled into his spiked tea. 

“You know, for a queer you’re such a homophobe.” Plates in hand she left; her leather pants and vest showing off a figure both men could appreciate though not a word would be spoken out loud and that particular thought was quickly forgotten – Arthur Weasley would kill them. 

****

******

Secrets were hardly ever kept at Hogwarts, one had to try their damndest but sometimes they had a way of spreading like a disease. Fortunately Harry didn’t make a point of keeping who he now was a secret. It was plainly obvious in the way he walked, dressed, acted, and a glaringly obvious difference was the lack of Oxy at his side, but the young man, weeks from graduation, did carry an inhaler he used sporadically. 

Whispers spread in his wake, Harry had always been flamboyant but this Harry, this _new_ and _improved_ Harry was dark and mysterious, he wore his school uniform but on the off days and after hours he was garbed in a strange new style that had a few of the students shifting with nervousness, to top it off there was a rumor. 

“Gin!” Ron called, glancing around the common room he spotted his sister with a clump of her friends, rushing over he took her by the arm, ignoring the name calling and occasional slap to the hand. Dragging her up the stairs he reached his rooms and was quick to tell Dean and Seamus to beat it before placing a well used Privacy Spell. “What the hell is going on?” 

“What?” 

“Something’s going on and I want to know.” 

“There’s nothing going on… well I don’t think there is.” Confused Ginny managed to tug her arm from his grip. 

Running a hand through his hair Ron sat on of the beds, probably Neville’s but he had bigger things to be concerned about. “Look… I have a problem and I need you to stay shut.” 

Her agitation quickly turned to intrigue; sitting next to her brother she tucked a leg beneath her and was the very encouraging sister she normally wasn’t. “You know you can tell me anything, I swear it’ll be between us.” 

“You swear.” 

“I swear.” Crossing her fingers at her heart she calmed herself before bouncing on the bed with anticipation. 

Ron shifted, letting out a breadth he talked, “I think… I think I might _like_ Harry.” Ginny’s eyes widened, surprised, “I know I’m straight, I know it! But I can’t stop thinking about him. Merlin, what am I going to do, he already said he wanted nothing to do with me.” 

“Wait… what? When did he say that?” 

“After the Christmas holidays Snape had us go into the Forbidden Forest, Harry paired with me. We were practically alone so I asked him why he didn’t kiss me like my brothers and he said that he liked **me**!” 

“Oh.” 

Ron watched as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and bit her lip, “You knew?” 

“What? No!” Ginny was quick to deny, a small laugh escaping, nervous and twitchy. 

“Gin.” 

“How could I possibly have…” Ron gave her that look, a look she was sure her mother gave her but she wasn’t going to mention that now if ever, “Alright! Harry’s always had a soft spot for you.” 

“And you didn’t tell me?” 

“Are you crazy? He would kill me, Harry may have been a sweet queer on the outside but he can be a terror. His third boyfriend in fifth year cheated on him with one of his muses. Well, let’s just say to this day he can properly cross his legs **and** her eyebrows have never been the same.” 

Curious, “What did he do?” 

“Harry caught them in the act, he was livid, so he cursed the both of them. The ex can only have sex if he’s married, he still has his you know but Harry said he made it too small to do anything but piss, it’ll only grow properly once he’s bonded. The slut, well, she was as vain as it came, thankfully she left last year but her eyebrows need to be penciled in from now on, if she doesn’t shave or wax them they overgrow and are bushy as hell.” 

Aghast, “He can’t do that?” Ron wasn’t sure if he should laugh or feel sympathy.

“Harry can do almost anything, there’s no proof he did that to them, his wand was checked and found no traces of the curse, he only told me because he needed to share the wealth, and I never liked them.”

“I should be running away screaming but instead I find it so…” Ron couldn’t find a word he could use in front of his sister.

“Arousing?” Ginny helped, smiling at the blush her brother sported.

“Ginny!”

“I’m not no blushing virgin, at least not with Harry around, he has some pretty kinky fantasies. I don’t see why you can’t at least try for something; it won’t make you any less of a man.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I want him alright, I do, but I want others also. I can’t be tied down now, I’m graduating, and I need to see the world, spread my wings and all that stuff. Besides, Harry said he was a selfish bastard, I get the feeling if I shack up with him it’ll be for good and I’m not ready for that.”

A smile curved her lips, “You do like him.”

Frustratingly, he did. “A lot, I can’t stand it. I dream about him for Merlin’s sake. It’s always been some broad and wham, there he is… it’s scary.”

“Alright… so you spread your wings, shag your little heart out and then we’ll see if Harry’s single for you to pursue.”

Ron wanted to comment, he wanted to say how it’s not as easy as she thought it would be… but he bit his tongue. Pasting on a smile he changed the subject, he would deal with this on his own, “So, any luck with his memory?”

“Nah, he’s remembering bits and pieces but he’s still on this whole conquering the world thing.” Shrugging her shoulder she smiled, “Just yesterday he was cursing up a storm at an owl, his parents won’t allow him access to the Black Library.”

****

******

Ron removed his towel from his waist and rubbed the thin cotton along his scalp, locks of his hair refusing to stop dripping down his back. “I don’t see why you’re embarrassed.” 

Hands pausing, Ron quickly wrapped the towel around his waist. “What are you doing in here?” 

Harry tilted his head, his eyes following a single drop of water that made its way from the collarbone down, rounding the oval shaped navel that protruded slightly and to be absorbed by the knotted towel. “Did you know I kept journals.”

Ron blinked, “Hu?”

“Journals… I kept some before the accident with the Dementor’s.” Harry’s eyes lingered on the flaccid bulge barely hidden by the damp thin fabric.

Ron cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. “Oh… alright.” 

Licking his lips Harry was highly amused at the blush that stole the red heads complexion, “They were very interesting.” Walking forward, his boots sounding loud in the empty showers of the boy’s locker rooms at the Quidditch pitch, “I learned a lot of who I was, am.”

Ron watched as Harry sat on the wooden bench across from him while he himself was pressed against the locker, as far back as he could possibly go. “That’s nice.”

“Did you know I was quite smitten with you? Ever since we first met on the train and you were excited to finally go to Gryffindor and we shared candies from the trolley… I was fascinated by you. I don’t know, maybe it was because of your hair or freckles, I might have found a certain fetish, but there was something about you that drew you to me that first time… unfortunately you were a little dick when I was sorted into Slytherin.”

“And I apologized.”

“I know, I wrote it down in great detail. In fact, I wrote down how cute you looked in your Weasley Sweater that Christmas.” Ron felt his heart thump furiously in his chest as Harry stood and moved closer. “You had chocolate on your lips, I wanted nothing more than to lick it off but you were straight so I respected that.” Harry moved closer, almost touching but not quite, “But now…” his fingers drifted along damp skin, swirling around a nipple, “I could care less.” 

“Harry…” his lips were taken, he had never kissed a guy before or in this case a guy kiss him but he couldn’t help but think this was way better than any kiss he had before. Harry’s fingers caressed and touched while his mouth nipped and licked, tongue swiping inside, touching and tasting what dwelled in such a sinful mouth. 

Ron felt his little control leave him; he grasped the back of the Slytherin’s neck and deepened the kiss, taking control of it. For a moment he forgot where he was, he forgot why he shouldn’t be doing this, he forgot who he was, he forgot that the Harry he was kissing wasn’t the Harry he had quite disturbingly fallen for… he forgot about everything but the pleasure he was feeling. His hand slipped lower, grasping that arse that invaded his dreams, forcing them even closer and hips jerking. Harry moaned and Ron remembered, he remembered that this, this wasn’t right. “Stop.”

“Come on.” Harry made to kiss him but Ron pulled away, his breadth quick and lips moist.

“No, just, just stop alright.”

Harry frowned, he took a step back. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You said you wanted me to kiss you.”

“I did, yes, but…”

“But what? We kissed; you liked it, why not have a little more fun? Come on, you know you want me, I know you’ve been watching me.” Harry pressed.

“I know but I won’t take advantage of you, not while you’re a little soft in the head.” Too late, Ron didn’t have enough brain cells to think up a quick retract of what he said.

“Soft? I’ve not gone soft in the head; if anyone has it’s you! How could you not want me? I’m hot, I’m the best you could ever do so either we do this now or you lose your only chance to fuck me.” Harry glared, offended.

“I can’t, I won’t take advantage of you while you’re not yourself.” Ron tried to explain, his erection had thankfully shrunk. 

“I am way better than that poof any day. Come on, how fucked up in the head was I? Why would anyone wear glitter or bleach their teeth, or design sissy outfits?”

“Hey! My Harry was brilliant at what he did. Fine, he pranced around like a damn fairy but he’s ten times the man you are. You think just because you read a few pages in a book it gives you the right to judge him you’re crazy!” 

“Well tough shit, I’m here, he’s gone, there’s nothing you can do about it!” with that Harry left, the door slamming close behind him.

****

******

Ginny ran up the flight of stairs and burst into her brother’s room, Ron was lying on his bed staring up at the canopy, “What the hell did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You had to have done something; he’s cursing your name as we speak. Something about no one saying no to him… did he offer you a spot on his new world order?”

Ron sighed, “There won’t be any new world order Ginny.”

“I know that, everyone knows that, but Harry doesn’t, just play along alright.” Ginny stomped her foot.

“I don’t like this Harry; I want the old Harry back.”

“What happened, before we begin to plot some revenge and hire an assassin I need to at least know your side of the story?”

Ron gave her a look, “An assassin? Why the hell are you encouraging the bloke?”

“Just tell me.”

“Fine, he snogged me.”

Pause, “What?” that was **not** what she was expecting.

“Harry caught me after my shower, we had a few words and he kissed me. I told him no that I couldn’t do it and he went on about having a little more fun.” Ginny arched a brow, “He was a persistent asshole.”

“So you said no and he flipped out, what else? I can’t picture him throwing such a hissy fit; he would have gone back to his rooms and plotted your seduction, not demise.” Turning over he pulled his pillow closer and let out a breadth, “I told him he had gone soft in the head. I wasn’t going to take advantage of him when my Harry said he wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Oh Ron,” Ginny sat on the bed, “Of course Harry wants _something_ to do with you. He said that to keep himself from hurting any more than he did.”

“He molested all my brothers, trust me, he was far from hurting.” It still stung at him, the fact that **his** brothers had a go and he was here, in this position, as nice as the kiss had been it hadn’t been like theirs. With the real Harry, not this imposter.

“He molested them because of you. His infatuation started with you and then he saw the twins and he thought ‘how nice’ and so forth. Trust me, out of all of them you were on top of his list, he really thought he would get over you if you bugged him enough times for something someone else had but he got upset. He’s a Slytherin so he thought like one; he was raised by Gryffindor’s so he has this soft spot just for you. Guilt ate at him and he was a bit embarrassed by the way he acted, he didn’t want to be with you and have you wondering if there was anything fresh happening between him and our brothers behind your back.”

“A kiss is different than a shag.” Mumbled Ron, eyes drifting closed.

“I know, thank you for not going through with it.” Leaning in she carded her fingers through his hair, “Sleep, supper isn’t for another several hours.”

### End of Part 5

 **A/N:** Amnesia Harry... It would be nice to envision a Dark Lord Potter garbed in a Boa and surrounded by half naked Warriors glistening with glittered baby oil... I would pledge my devotion to see that. 

Obviously this will eventually turn into a Harry/Ron love affair because I'm a fluff happy ending lover but in due time my lovelies. I know the random italic ** ** paragraphs are a lil confusing and the Dementors are a wtf touch buuuut I enjoy a good hmmmm scene to change it all up. Of course they'll be back :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a touch more serious. Wordy. Informy. We get some Answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies but I accidentally shut down my computer without saving my edits. *sigh* all of my important edits and html stuff erased and honestly it's been a shitty couple weeks but here you go. I really want to finish this ASAP.
> 
> Warning:  
> Re-reading this chapter was interesting. If you're squeamish of MPREG then sorry. It is MENTIONED and used as a plot twist BUT it's obviously not BOOM, there, in your face poking you. If the concept disgusts you then bye. Not sorry. Blame my younger Fan-Author-Girl side of years ago. :)

#  **Gayer Than You**

### Part6

******

The owl circled the cabin once, twice, and a last time before a window opened and it swooped inside. A cream colored letter dropped itself in the lap of Remus Lupin seeing as Sirius was currently dozing on his lap. Puzzled, Remus brushed his fingers along the wax seal of Hogwarts before sliding his finger beneath the lip. Currently both men were enjoying a celebration, Sirius had finally decided to make their relationship official, and Remus still couldn’t believe he wore a Ring of Intension on his ring finger of his right hand made of white gold. One hand dropped to play with Sirius curls that the Anigmi whole heartedly denied having, when damp the hair tended to have a slight ‘wave’ as Sirius admitted once or twice. The letter was to the point and his fingers stilled, his breadth caught in his chest. “Sirius!” 

* 

Graduation was just two weeks away, the seventh years were antsy and on occasion some lost their heads and cried at the drop of a hat and hugged complete strangers complaining about the tragedy of it all… 

As was custom the ceremony would be held on the Quidditch pitch, for today, a Wednesday, classes had been canceled for the Seventh years that were forced to participate in their mock ceremony and be fitted for their proper robes. The day had started like any other, the sun was up, the air warm and welcoming, the forest nearby was quiet, and laughter was in the air, promises being made. 

Maybe that was the problem that beautiful day; it was all going too well. That very morning the Prophet had arrived with claims that the Dementor’s had been taken care of, half of them were exterminated while the other half were forced to play guards at Azkaban, so it was with a light heart that the Graduation Committee chose this day to get things rolling, they were already days behind schedule from the years before. 

They had already walked in their assigned lines, standing by alphabet; they had practiced from breakfast to morning. Those who thought this would be an easy sort of day now wished for work, to be back in class instead of standing and sitting, sitting and standing, being poked and prodded… it was a nightmare. Lunch was given while they waited for their fittings, sitting on the grass and chatting but for one, chatting was the last thing on his mind. “Are you alright?” 

Harry looked up, “Merlin… just go away please.” 

Ron shifted uncomfortable, he would have liked to but he was worried, “You don’t look too good.” 

“I’ve never felt better.” It was a lie, he felt horrible. 

Sitting, Ron unwrapped his sandwich, “You should eat.” 

Harry spared him a glare, “You should be on the other side of this field, why are you here?” 

“You look ill.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re not, look at you, your hair is messy, skin clammy, and you have circles beneath your eyes… what’s going on?” 

Too tired to fight, Harry snapped, “My memory is coming back you twit!” Startled, Ron nibbled on his sandwich as the Slytherin continued, “This morning I caught myself applying glitter lip gloss and wondering what nail polish I could charm my toes… this isn’t supposed to be happening!” 

On the inside Ron was ecstatic but on the outside he nodded encouragingly, “Must be tough.” Appetite returning it wasn’t long before he engulfed his first sandwich. 

“If that’s not enough when I sat down to go over my strategies I found myself sketching some of those sissy designs, I almost gushed over this sequenced gown… it was disgusting!” 

“You shouldn’t be so upset, I’m sure when you’re back to normal…” his words were caught off not by the glare sent his way but at the screams around him. 

* 

Two apparations and one floo trip was enough strain to exhaust any normal wizard but both men had a purpose and refused to collapse before they got to their son. A portkey waited for them on Dumbledore’s desk, with a muttered word they were whisked away to the infirmary. 

Neither questioned just how they were able to portkey **in** Hogwarts. 

* 

Their feet stamped on the ground, somehow they ended in the one place they shouldn’t have – the Forbidden Forest. While they ran Harry took a hold of Ron’s hand, their grip was tight as they pushed past low branches and jumped over protruding roots. “Stop… stop…” unable to run any longer, Harry rested against a gnarled tree trunk, his face red and chest heaving. Reaching into his pants pocket he pulled out his inhaler, hands trembling he dropped it, with a curse he attempted to reach for it but Ron’s hands grasped it first. 

“Here, breathe.” The pump was placed near his lips, Harry leaned in, their eyes holding, and breathed in deep as the pump released its cloud of a unique potion, again, and again he breathed it in, the strain on his chest lessening. “We should be far enough; I thought the paper said they were all captured?” 

“False advertisement… we can sue the pants off them and the Ministry. I counted four.” 

“Six.” Ron corrected, “I think we should wait it out.” 

“Here? I say we keep moving, the Aurors should have arrived by now… hopefully they’ve been taken care of.” 

“I doubt it; we’ve not been running long. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Ministry doesn’t know.” 

Pocketing his inhaler, Harry took a seat on a root. “This can’t be happening again, is it me? This year’s been horrible. I died too many times to count, I’ve lost my perfect health, I’m going mad with these new memories, and I have you!” 

“It can’t be that bad, you’re here, granted in the Forbidden Forest where we can be eaten at any moment but you’re alive. You can walk and move your fingers, so what if you have to carry that muggle thing? Besides, you can’t get rid of me, it’s a curse not bad luck.” 

Harry didn’t want to, he really didn’t, but he found himself smiling. Whispers brushed his mind, quick flashes forced his eyes to blink, the smile slipping. “I hate this, just ruined a perfectly good moment. Ugh! I can’t believe I’m worried about some bloody dresses than my new world order!” 

Ron laughed. 

* 

Dropping the portkey on the ground both men rushed through the doors of the infirmary, their steps echoed as the reached the far corner, a wave of cold swallowing them before disappearing as they passes a strong set of privacy wards, making their way behind the partition they stopped… “No… no!” 

* 

“I think we’re lost.” 

“We’re not lost.” 

Harry hooked his arm along Ron’s, “Are you sure?” 

“Uhu.” 

“Positive?” 

“Uhu.” 

“Absolutely positively scrimptiously allidociouslly sure?” 

Ron paused, gracing Harry with a look, “Err… yea.” 

“Good, I would hate to find that we’re walking further away from Hogwarts, I have a few manikins that need draping.” 

Ron scrunched his nose, “Merlin, are you all there?” 

“Mostly, some things don’t make much sense but… did I really try to take over the world?” silently, Harry tapped each of his nails with his wand, thankfully they had been kept trim and clean so he quickly applied an eggshell color. “Not that I mind, I just can’t stand to work too hard.” 

“You tried; Ginny told me you were near a mental breakdown, something about Lucius not giving you what you wanted.” Kicking a stray stone, Ron continued with his trek, unwilling to admit he was relying on sheer dumb luck to lead him back to the school. 

“Ah yes, remind me to drown myself later.” 

“What happened?” 

“Well, let’s just say, never ask Malfoy SR for a list of where his Master went wrong. Damned if I made the same mistakes.” 

Ron laughed openly, Harry couldn’t help but falling for it. 

* 

“My son…” Remus pressed his face into the curve of his fiancé's neck. 

Sirius was furious, his body was stiff, he latched onto his anger, it was his anchor, he needed to be strong for his lover, he refused to break down and throw himself on his son’s bed and sob his heart out at the unfairness of it all. “What happened? Hogwarts supposed to be safe, those damn Dementor’s were supposed to be taken care of!” 

Madame Pomfrey shared a look with the Head Healer, Healer Grant. Oh she was confidant in her skills but this… this was a different matter. Healer Grant perched himself on Pomfrey’s desk, tired, the adrenaline from the last hour waning, “I’ve looked through your sons medical records and we have a problem.” 

* 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ron spared him a glance, already knowing why Harry was apologizing, “Don’t be, it wasn’t you.” 

“Yea, it was.” Harry admitted, “That was the me who didn’t give two shits.” 

“No constraints.” 

“None whatsoever, I remember everything, every little detail. It boggles my mind how far I was willing to go to achieve the greatness the Sorting Hat said I would have.” 

“I don’t think the Sorting hat meant trying to take over the world but I did like the law about no homework on Fridays.” The two shared a smile and Harry felt just a tiny bit better. 

* 

“Your son is in perfect health, his heart is strong, both lungs perfect.” 

“If he’s so perfect then why is he laying on that bed half dead?” Sirius seethed. 

Used to parents and relatives getting upset, Healer Grant kept himself cool and collected, this was the difficult part, the explaining. “Because he’s fighting a form of death,” Remus closed his eyes, his throat swallowing the lump of fear keeping him quiet, “Madame Pomfrey was kind enough to explain to me about his second brush with the Killing Curse, if it weren’t because of that ritual the Death Eaters performed he wouldn’t be here today.” 

“He would be dead.” Remus mumbled. Fact not question. 

“Precisely, thankfully I have the clearance and reason to open one of his **several** security bound files. Pomfrey has been gracious enough to erect some strong privacy wards and as Healers we are bound to not reveal what is said, as it is, I can freely say that I know the scar your son carries is Voldemort’s last Horcrux.” 

“Harry doesn’t know.” Remus blurted. 

“I gathered. Thankfully, Voldemort’s unintentional Horcrux was the breaking point, a mother’s ultimate sacrifice for protection and Darkest Curse doesn’t mix well.” Slipping into lecture mode, for a moment the Healer forgot that short and sweet was the usual best policy, best to get it over with than linger. “While seven may be a strong number, eight and twelve are the weakest. When the Killing curse rebounded and struck the man it was too much and his other Horcrux’s collapsed, killing his familiar, and leaving your son in a coma. 

The ritual can be used once, I’m not quite sure how after all these years they managed to find his hair and skin or steal his wand from the Unspeakable’s but there was still enough of a trace of the bastards dark soul and Mr. Potter’s scar managed to anchor it enough on this plain long enough for something to be done. I know enough that Mr. Potter would have been better off dead with a Killing Curse than his very soul torn away and replaced by Voldemort himself, a more youthful and powerful Dark Lord with the face of the Boy-Who-Lived.” 

“Please explain to them Healer Grant about the Dementor's.” Pomfrey interrupted. 

“Ah, yes. Sorry, with such a unique situation I tend to ramble when excited.” Before either parent could voice their thoughts, the Healer continued. “Voldemort easily persuaded the Dementor’s to him merely with his power and promises to find them breeding mates. I can only assume when your son’s scar flared to life they felt the connection to the Dark Lord return and some, maybe scouts, made their way to him. If we weren’t dealing with your son I assure you this outcome would be different, it seems your son is more unique than we all considered.” 

Pausing, the Healer said, “Mr. Potter has potential to carry children, he’s a Barer, thus, why he’s currently fighting off the death of his magic and potential transformation.” Sirius nearly fainted, aware more than anyone just what those words meant. “Dementor’s are attracted to the criteria that is your son, if he makes it pass the night his chances of making through this go up substantially but be prepared for some more permanent traits left over. An upside would be his health, Dementor’s need a healthy mate to bare their offspring, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never suffers a cold in the future.” 

* 

“Shh…” Ron took Harry’s wrist in his hand, quieting the Slytherin's attempt to fill the silence. There was a rustle in the trees and before either teen could make it more than a step, the Dementor swooped down and snatched Harry. “Harry!” 

Harry’s response was to scream. 

* 

Pomfrey spared the Healer a glare; the man just wouldn’t get to the point. “The trait for a male to Bare must come from Lily’s side; the Potter’s never had a Barer.” 

Sirius cleared his throat, “That’s not true.” 

Madame Pomfrey blinked, surprised, “Explain.” 

“Agatha wasn’t able to carry James so John did.” 

“It wasn’t on his school records.” Snipped Pomfrey upset that she didn’t know, how could she not be told? 

Shifting, Sirius made sure to keep a firm hold on Remus, he was his shield just in case, it was a known fact that the scary witch before him favored both Harry and his future husband while she barely tolerated him; It was his own fault of course. “James only told me because I was Harry’s godfather; in case anything happened to him I would inform Harry when he reached Maturity.” 

She glared, “Does the boy know?” Pomfrey picked up the Slytherin's folder and sifted through it. 

Remus shook his head, “We were waiting until he decided to be sexually active or reached his Maturity before then.” 

Arching a brow Pomfrey scoffed, “Really now. Well, congratulations, your son is sexually active; it’s only by the grace of god he’s not gone through any sort of miscarriage if he were pregnant.” 

“Harry would have told us, he said he was waiting for the right one.” Sirius glanced at Remus who seemed worried. 

“He never told me anything.” Remus admitted. 

“Maybe if you had informed the boy when he first began puberty and then **after** his bout of amnesia…” 

Healer Grant cleared his throat, “We’re veering off topic.” 

“We’re on topic Healer Grant, sexually active or not Harry’s magic was forced to mature rather than build up to the proper age. If I had been informed I could have taken the necessary precautions and doused the boy with strong contraceptives, because of your negligence gentleman he was a buffet to the Dementor’s who were on the prowl for a brood mare.” Stunned, the men could only glance at one another and feel immensely ashamed, just the reaction Pomfrey was gearing for. “Were he not a Barer or had taken contraceptives the Dementor’s would have hovered around him waiting for direction instead of knocking him off his broom the first time and this time managing to practically succeed in changing him into one of their own!” 

* 

It was his wand; his sorry attempts to stop that monster from snatching his friend alerted the searching Aurors. They appeared from nowhere, swarming around him, their wands pointed at all directions, they asked him question after question but he paid them no mind. A woman brought him out of his shock, her hands on his shoulder, fingers squeezing, “What happened.” She said, looking him straight in the eye. 

“Harry… it took Harry.” 

Chaos erupted. 

* 

Limbs twitched, the binding stretched and stilled. 

Skin cooled and grayish in color. 

Eyes once the color of forest green were now subdued and dull. 

Lips cracked and dried, color a mix of blues and purple. 

A mask covered his mouth and nose, purified air helping his breathing, some of the strain kept away so more of his attention could be kept at remaining together. 

Chest rose steadily and surely, breaths deep, and long lasting. 

There was no sound but for the thrum of the machine… a gasp, a cough, breadth ragged, the tang of copper bringing some life back from hell. Lids fluttered and closed completely, two separate tears escaped, each leaving an uneven line of black ink. 

* 

To the eyes of a stranger just _happening_ to cross paths with a Dementor one could only hope to escape their clutches. If one were the unlucky type your best bet would to have your life sucked out of you and left a shell… if you were truly unlucky, as one young man found as his potential fate, well, you would find yourself with no choice but to submit to the dominating presence a Dementor held. What was behind the darkened hole of a threadbare hood? Only those kissed would ever see the grotesque image… no sketch but speculation was known to the public and scholars alike. 

Back on the floor, the small stones digging through the fabric of a thin shirt, the air had once been warm with the sun basking its glow on a face that once held color. The deeper into the forest the cooler the air but beneath the over bearing presence of such a creature it was decidedly icy. Skin tightened, as if frozen for all time, taking on a tint of the lightest blue, lips once full and pink were purpled, the edges a dark blue, almost as if a liner had traced the shape. Eyes holding life had but barely a spark of recognition of the world as the dulled green gaze peered into the face of a stranger… the face of a Dementor. 

A hand gnarled and blackened with stretched skin seemingly of leather reached out of the fold of the cloaks arm and traced along the frozen face. Fingers dancing along the once warm brow, curving around the end of an eye with lashes that took on a silvery and coarse texture; a lone finger with a nail curved and dull followed the line of the nose and downward and lingering in the indent that connected the upper lip and the center of the nostrils… the face leaned closer, it’s body hovering above the prone frame amongst the frozen earth, its breadth of grayish cloud exhaled, bathing the face. 

Eyes blinked, once, twice, the chest heaved for breadth, a wheezing sound came from the throat as the air was sucked in and a much lighter cloud of breadth escaped, both mixing with each inhale and exhale, the hand smoothing and caressing, this time following the pulsing appearance of veins creeping from the collar of the shirt and rising, branching out along the chin, cheeks, spreading… 

The face inched closer until the hood itself obscured both faces, the wizard laying on the frozen floor trembled, fingers curling into the ground, dirt and frost embedding themselves beneath nails. Off in the distance there was a shout followed by a curse… 

* 

Severus stood, rubbing the temples of his head, “He’s asleep, a natural sleep.” 

Remus felt his legs give way; thankfully Sirius was already sitting so he had a comfortable lap to land on, “Thank you, thank you…” 

The Potion’s Master nodded and gathered his cloak that rested along the back of a chair, “He should wake when he’s ready, the Dementor’s presence was strong but fortunately his scar is useful for more than decoration.” 

“Will he be alright?” Sirius asked. 

Pausing, Severus had to squash the impulse to answer with forked tongue, instead he decided he would be charitable, “I’m not his Healer but I have no doubt that when he wakes he will be physically fine, I’m unsure whether he’ll be mentally. While in his head I did notice another cupboard beneath a stair leading to nowhere, there’s a chance he may have locked what has happened away like he’s done with his time at those muggle’s. Let’s hope that’s the case, I wouldn’t wish such an experience on my worst enemy.” 

With that, Severus took his leave. His heart went out to the boy, one of his snakes. He may have been a tad harder than he normally for one of his own but he found himself with not an ounce of energy to continue blaming the boy. After all, Potter had gone through an ordeal that more than made up for his sense of retribution and it sure helped that the boy would be out of his hair soon… far away, very far away hopefully. 

End of Part 6


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Health Drama sadly comes to an end and we have a time jump ;)

#  **Gayer Than You**

### Part 7

****

******

It was one thing to be _out of it_ and another to be lucid. Harry took one look at the foxy Healer and squeaked, a not so manly squeak but considering the circumstances he was willing to forget about it. The Foxy Fox of a Healer, as Harry had renamed, blinked in confusion as the glossy magazine the young man had been reading suddenly found its home in front of the face of the Slytherin. “Mr. Potter?” 

Clearing his throat Harry answered in the oddest voice he could come up with, “No Potter aqui. No speaka English.” 

Remus, who had been reading the Prophet let a corner fall, “Harry?” 

“Me no Potter, who this Harry?” Harry glared at Remus before rushing out in a harsh whisper, “Why didn’t you tell me he was hot!” at the foot of the bed, Padfoot’s tail wagged furiously. 

“Now’s not the time…” Remus tried to explain but his son, bless his annoying arse, didn’t want to hear it. 

“Now’s a perfect time! It’s one thing when I’m unconscious but I refuse to have my first impression be of me looking half dead and hair a bird’s nest!” 

The healer blinked, opened his mouth, thought twice, and closed it. 

“The man is married and straight, he has seven kids.” 

Harry Pouted, “Seven?” 

“Yes, seven.” 

“So my powers of gayness won’t work?” Remus pressed lips together, tightly, he relied on a simple motion of his head less he give in to his amusement and his son did not need that sort of encouragement. With a sigh Harry dropped his magazine and gave his most charming smile. “What can I do for you my Foxy Fox of a Healer?” Padfoot managed to tuck his head beneath the fold his son’s blanket, tail wagging furiously. 

* 

The wand wasn’t his own but Harry had been forced to remain in the bed, a bed pan his new best friend, and a basin of water his salvation. Thankfully, Remus and Sirius, his parents (he still got giddy thinking about it) decided to go for a walk to get lunch. Fortunately, Harry managed to snatch Remus’s, his father’s ***squeal*** , wand while the man was too tired to notice. Pomfrey had said no magic… to hell with that; Harry refused to lay about looking like he was. 

Conjuring a mirror, one that floated in place, Harry transfigured a spare small towel into a brush and used the clean water to wash his face and help detangle the knots and smooth away the flecks of white from his gel and bits of left over dry leaves and dirt… didn’t anyone attempt to give him a bath or at least spell him clean? Too absorbed in his goal of perfection he lost track of time and how much magic it actually took to be comfortable. There was a twitch here and there, an incantation, a long sentence for this and that, the wand in his hand hummed with such a vast amount of untapped magic that it was far from used to. 

Hair was in its proper place, hanging loosely, quite longer than he normally had it but it did give him a dashing look, the scent of sweat and general un-cleanliness had vanished along with the sheets of the bed, in fact, throwing caution in the air the bed itself was gone only to be replaced by a more comfortable bit of furniture. Toes and nails were carefully trimmed and a clear polish was placed on each surface followed by a light hue of pink with silver glitter as the final touch. Eyebrows were trimmed and even, the hair around his face had been painstakingly removed inch by delicate inch since he wasn’t about to conjure a blade, a bed was one thing but a sharp pointy razor that could possibly slash his face was another. 

With a satisfied exhale Harry just barely caught a glimpse of an upset Healer, Madame Pomfrey, before the world went black. 

* 

“You don’t learn do you?” Sirius glared, “After everything you still find it’s not enough but you pass out due to core exhaustion.” 

“I didn’t mean to pass out.” 

“Things happen but you seem to think you’re above all that. How difficult is it to remember not to use magic? **Any** magic is bad especially now. What do we have to do to get it through your head? Do we have to compulse you? Tie you down?” Harry opened his mouth, “This is **not** the time!” 

“I’m sorry alright! I just needed to look my best.” 

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, the headache relieving potion just starting to ease the pounding in his head, “Harry, I would rather smell you from outside the infirmary doors and know that you’re healthy than see you dolled up at deaths door. You have nothing to prove to anyone, we’ve all seen you at your worst.” 

“This past year has been my worst.” Closing his eyes Harry took a much needed deep breadth and exhaled. “You may not understand it but I need to look my best, it’s like how my lungs need air, it’s necessary.” 

“When you’re sick you’re entitled to be scary looking.” Sirius flinched as Remus smacked him – hard – on the arm. 

“I’m tired being sick. I’m tired of being tired, every time I turn around its one thing or another. If I’m going to be lying on my back so much I might as well enjoy it but I’ve died more times than there are fingers on my hand, it’s like a bloody crappy ass soap opera with me as the main character who gets amnesia, grows a split personality, finds the man he could possibly love but has to reject him, when things begin to calm down BOOM drama hits again with the sequel, Bride of the Dementor. So I can’t control my life, I can’t control anything but how I look. I refuse to sit about and look horrid like I sat around and wore a blasted machine or used a bloody inhaler!” 

“Life is more than…” Sirius started. 

“I had no life!” Harry finished, shutting both his father’s mouth. “If it wasn’t because of you I wouldn’t be here, I would be so far away from here and doing what I want that it’s maddening… but I can’t.” 

“Harry,” Remus attempted to reach out but Harry shifted away from his touch, “What are you talking about?” 

“I’m grateful alright, I’m grateful that you took me in and showed me love and I wouldn’t change anything but it’s hard. I have children bowing to me, proclaiming their allegiance, grown adults have tried to tempt me, I receive daily letters of intent from families I’ve never met that I had to buy the services of goblins to assist me, do you know how maddening it is to try and not get upset because Merlin forbid if I get too angry, my scar flares and thoughts of maiming and curses suddenly seem just the thing to take care of it. 

It may seem like I care not for how people see me but my every move is calculated, I watch what I say and do, I make a point of playing this _game_ that while I enjoy being so dramatic it wears on me but I know if I change the papers will attack me like they’ve done in the pass. I may not be able to control my life but I can damn well control how I dress and look so if that means I pass out once in a while because of bloody exhaustion then so be it.” 

Exhausted, Harry didn’t fight as he was pulled into a hug by both men, awkward yes, but he basked in it. With a shuddering breadth he let out a sob and before he knew it, his makeup was ruined and hair messed. An apology left his lips, he was quietly hushed and both men tried to comfort their son, reassure him. 

That night was a long one. 

* 

“Potter, James Harry.” McGonagall called. 

Harry, dressed to the nines, sashayed his way from his seat, up the four steps, and made his way across the platform. Shaking hands with McGonagall he went up to Dumbledore who proudly handed him his diploma tied together with green silk with the emblem of Slytherin at the ends. With a cheeky smile he made his way to his Head of House who was standing looking absolutely miserable, Harry knew just the thing to end his days at Hogwarts. “Potter or whatever you choose to call yourself.” 

Harry took the man’s offered hand, “Snape, in honesty I’ll miss you but I’m glad I’m leaving.” 

Severus narrowed his eyes, “What have you done?” 

“Nothing yet.” Severus made to remove his hand but Harry kept a firm hold and jerked, before Severus could curse the boy, his lips were captured and assaulted… the crowd gasped. 

Sirius Black felt himself a bit lightheaded… Remus Lupin, well, the werewolf nearly died from laughing so hard. 

* 

Ginny sniffed, the hanky her friend handed to her was quick to wipe just below her eyes, trying to keep from walking around with raccoon eyes. “It’s so romantic.” Sniffing, she smiled as she watched the older men dance to their song. 

Harry spared her a glance, “They do look good together. Too bad we’re related.” 

“You just **had** to ruin the moment didn’t you?” scowling, she poked him; “If you behave like this at my wedding I’ll shove you into the cake.” 

“Hey!” rubbing at his side, Harry moved his chair an inch away, “Barbarian.” 

Sticking out her tongue, Ginny returned her attention to the newlywed couple who shared a kiss… with a sigh she couldn’t wait to meet her _Mr. Right_ and have such a moment. Sparing her friend a glance she noticed his sight wasn’t on his father’s but across the lawn – at her brother who was chatting with his current girlfriend, Lavender Brown. The song changed and Ginny put her hand in his, “Come on, dance with me.” 

Smile plastered on, Harry stood. “No stepping on my toes, these are Gucci, very expensive.” 

Allowing herself to be lead to the dance floor, eyes now on them since they were the only ones who had the courage to go up there, she was pulled into a close embrace, movements coming natural as they rocked to the song being played. “You can do better.” Ginny murmured. 

Harry pressed his cheek against hers, “I know. His socks don’t match, how can I fall for a guy who can’t pick out the proper socks?” 

“He’s messy, you’re too neat.” Ginny added. 

“I chew with my mouth closed and he talks with food in his mouth.” 

“He has no sense of style.” 

Harry held her close, “I have enough for the both of us.” 

“He’s smelly.” She snuggled close. 

“Nose plugs.” 

“He can belch the alphabets.” 

“He’s musical.” Closing his eyes he pressed their brows together, “I’m stupid, I should know better.” 

“You’re a brat, if you can’t have it no one can, but you’re not stupid. You’re too good for him, there are plenty other guys out there who could take care of you.” 

“You’re right; I should leave home and find a sugar daddy. I can always make googley eyes at Malfoy.” 

Ginny wrinkled her nose, “Draco?” 

“Oh god no, I mean Sr. Once you get passed that constipated pinch look he’s kind of hot.” Ginny stilled, “What?” with a shake of her head she walked off the dance floor leaving a confused friend behind, “What?” 

* 

“I can’t believe I graduated last year… it’s unreal.” 

“Well stand still.” Pulling the fabric together he pulled a pin from the cushion beside him and placed it through the folded over fabric. “You can reminisce after I get this damn skirt completed.” 

“No need to get shirty, it’s the nostalgia. I never knew it was so hard in the grown up world. You show up in a few magazines and all of a sudden you’re under qualified because you’re pretty. I can’t be a damn manikin the rest of my life, I need a job.” 

Harry brushed aside his long bangs, “You have a job. You’re my assistant and write articles for Luna’s magazine.” 

“True.” 

“And you help the other girls out, like the den mother of my harem.” 

“That only works if you have sex with them; last I read you threw some obsessed fan girl off a runway when she attempted to kiss you.” 

“She was probably diseased.” Harry defended. 

“And your cure was to lock lips the next second with a random cute guy off stage?” 

Harry smiled, taking a step back as he eyed his newest masterpiece, still in its developing phase. “He was cute and I felt much better after such a traumatizing ordeal.” 

“Of course he was. All the entourage for Madame LeChe has to be devilishly handsome. Merlin forbid if that harpy isn’t surrounded by fuckable men, she’s old enough to be our great-great grandmother.” 

“Don’t let her age fool you.” Helping his friend out of the garment, he was careful to make sure the dozens of pins didn’t prick her. “After that show she calls me over and she opens this folding fan, beautiful thing, and it’s like some bad smut novella. She tries to offer me her boy for a few nights of pleasure while she watches us do the nasty the first time.” 

Ginny’s jaw dropped, “No! What did you say?” 

“That I’ll think about it but I’m still snatching that man from under her nose. She of course laughs and walks away leaving me alone with the god of my dreams, we’ve been dating ever since.” 

“Ooh, I like!” quickly pulling the shirt she wore in the beginning on, she sat on a stool, watching as he made his way around the small studio. “So that’s the mysterious man you won’t tell me of.” 

“It’s different with him, I don’t know, he makes me feel giddy.” A soft smile graced his face, “I think I might just fall in love with him.” 

Overjoyed, Ginny wanted to jump up and down, hug her best friend but her mind was a horrible place. “I’m happy for you.” Harry looked up, a well placed mirror showing him her reflection and her his. 

“But?” 

Biting her lip she forced herself to say it, “Does he know?” Harry averted his eyes, “He needs to know before you get any more involved with him.” 

“I know.” 

Silence… “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, that’s why I have you around, you tell me how it is and I dress you.” 

* 

“Are you both insane?” Both men shared a look, “Why would you want to not sleep in late?” 

Remus gave his son a patient smile, “Harry, does it bother you or not?” 

“No, just don’t expect me to change a diaper. If you want to hire some stranger to pop a kid for you, fine by me, I just hope you’re prepared, if you thought I was bad, you haven’t seen the worst of it with your genes mixed together.” Harry shook his head and sipped his tea, baffled as to why they would subject themselves to such chaos. 

* 

“I swear it’s a bloody baby boom.” Harry whined as he held the can of soda to his brow, his headache making him a not so happy man. “First my parents, then Percy, then Bill, and now Luna… whose next?” 

Ginny hesitated, “I’m pregnant.” Harry stared at her, horror in his eyes as the can of soda slipped from numb fingers. “Kidding, I’m just kidding.” Trying to laugh, her laughter turned to a shout as Harry lunged at her. 

* 

Percy and Penelope had a son who they named him Alfred Perce Weasley. Bill and Fleur had a son who they named him William Josiah Weasley. Luna had a son with none other than Neville who they named Danielle Uno Longbottom. Last but certainly not least, Sirius and Remus Black named their son Jameson Lupin Black. Harry soon found himself an _uncle_ and _brother_ to babies who didn’t know the difference between silk, the expensive kind, and flannel. When he decided to dress down, they behaved spectacularly. 

They spit up on their burp cloths, ate their nasty smelling food without getting a speck on him, they did their business in their diapers but when he happened to visit or they arrived unannounced it was like they had it in for him. It was a conspiracy, all of them had some sort of vendetta against him, maybe it was because he made faces at them or cried when they cried taking the attention away from them… either way, Harry now found himself buying new shirts more frequently than he preferred. 

Currently, Harry was hiding in Ginny’s flat where he was sure no one would find him, if he was asked to hold another toddler or change a diaper he was liable to scream. Fortunately Harry was able to sit and pout with his boyfriend who completely agreed with him, babies were best taken in moderation. “We can’t stay here for long?” 

“I know.” Harry mumbled against the chest that was clothed in a fine soft material. Jake Hank was a hunk of a man and Harry couldn’t get enough of him, he was everything he could ask for. “Alright, let’s go.” With a resigned air, Harry stood, smoothing the wrinkles from his costume. Tonight was Hallows Eve, a great big celebration was to be held at the Weasley’s plot of land. 

Everyone was chipping in, Harry’s contribution was making the place look as if it belonged on a magazine front – he was too good to be true. Currently he was dressed as Queen of the Nile, Cleopatra while his boy toy was dressed just as James Bond from the muggle films. 

Night had fallen, the floating pumpkins illuminated the designated area, their scary faces mocking while fake charmed bats swooped down scaring unsuspecting party goers. The punch smoked and fizzled, a nifty invention by the twins who promised that it was safe to drink, sandwiches came in shapes besides triangles or squares, cookies were frosted expertly depicting typical Halloween decorations. There were games of bobbing for apples, the safest one, the others varied as only the brave were allowed to play and children firmly forbidden. All in all the night couldn’t be better… so it was thought. 

The twins, for once forgoing their trickster ways, spent the night laughing and enjoying themselves like every other guest, that is, until their eyes met that of their youngest brother. With sidelong glances they watched as the youngest of the brood keep to himself sipping at a drink that was more punch than alcohol. He either stood or walked about, as if with no rhyme or reason but alas, the twins soon figured out that their dear baby brother wasn’t behaving so randomly. 

There was no question about it that Cleopatra AKA Harry Potter was wickedly real, how breasts were made to look as real as any other woman was the talk of the party, but there Harry was, on the arm of his own gorgeous spy with a water pistol as his only muggle weapon. The twins watched as their brother’s eyes shamelessly roamed over the young man who they molested so long ago; of course Harry molested them as well… 

“I’m so jealous.” 

Harry preened, “I look hot don’t I?” 

Ginny couldn’t help but agree; she was a woman and wished she had the curves apparently her friend now sported. “You look gorgeous! So… you have anything to share with me?” pulling her friend away from his chatting boyfriend, Ginny made sure her voice was at a whisper. 

“Not yet… should I?” 

“Are you sure?” Ginny pushed, “Jake’s not _mentioned_ a thing?” 

“No, why?” 

“Oh, nothing.” Sipping at her drink she attempted to change the conversation, “Can you believe…” 

“Gin!” Harry narrowed his eyes, “What do you know that I don’t? You know I don’t like surprises.” 

“Nothing.” 

“Gin.” 

“Forget I brought anything up.” Attempting to walk away her arm was grabbed and she was held in place. 

“If you don’t tell me what’s going on I’ll make you a blonde.” 

“I can’t, it’s a nice surprise, I swear.” Ginny insisted. 

“Nice or not you better tell me.” Deciding it was in her best interest to do so; Ginny leaned in and let her friend know. “No.” 

“You should be happy?” 

“Oh god no.” swallowing the rest of his drink, Harry wished the tray with the alcohol floating about was close. “You can’t be serious, he can’t be serious.” 

“How can you not expect this? You love him right?” Harry hesitated, “You do love him, don’t you Harry?” 

“Of course I do.” 

“But do you love him enough to say yes?” 

Eyeing a tray floating their way, Harry used a bit of his magic to urge it even closer and a bit quicker. Snatching a flute of an orange cocktail, he swallowed it down in two gulps. “I don’t know.” Swiping another glass he sipped it, “I haven’t told him yet.” 

“It’s been almost two years and you haven’t told him? What the bloody hell is wrong with you! I told you to tell him!” 

“I know!” downing the drink he went for another. “Merlin this is a nightmare.” 

“If you had just told him!” Hands on her hips, her fairy costume riding up showing a bit more thigh than her parents, if they were watching, would have wanted. 

“I know!” sparing a glance at his boyfriend who was making his way over he finished the rest of the drink, the alcohol making him a bit more than tipsy, Harry never really drank and even though the champagne wasn’t strong, it was more than enough. “Merlin… I have no choice, but it’ll be alright yes?” 

Ginny hugged him, “Of course it will, he loves you, he had better.” Pulling away she fixed the headpiece of a hissing snake, “If he doesn’t then he just isn’t worth anymore of your time. You deserve someone who’ll love you without glamour’s.” Her fingers drifted over his cheek and he felt something well in him, something warm and just not needing to be delved on. 

“Maybe it’s the alcohol but right now I would shag you senseless… dear god!” eyes wide, “I am drunk! I just had my first straight thought.” There was such a look of horror on his face that Ginny couldn’t help but laugh, wish him luck, and watch as her friend lead his boyfriend towards the house. 

“My place Harry and no funny business!” she yelled, the glare aimed at her well worth the blush creeping her friends cheek.” A minute later as she was nibbling on a pastry George, and it was George, walked up to her. 

“Pray tell sister of mine, where do you think our brother has apparated to?” 

“Who?” 

“The one who’s been eyeing that lovely Egyptian morsel.” 

“Oh shit… you don’t think Ron’ll play spy?” 

George shrugged his shoulder, “He is an Auror, an Unspeakable at that. It was bound to happen, him and Harry.” 

Ginny tossed her half eaten cookie in the trash, “I wouldn’t be too sure, I opened my big mouth and now Harry knows that Jake wanted to propose today which I thought he already did but apparently not.” 

Staring into his drink, George took a sip, edging closer, his twin off somewhere making a few new contacts. “Harry shouldn’t marry the bloke.” 

Her eyes narrowed, “Why? What do you know?” 

“Enough that he deserves better, if not our Ronnikens but someone other than that bastard.” 

“Tell me.” And George did. 

* 

As Harry stepped out of the floo he stumbled, thankfully his boyfriend was there to hold onto him. “Wow.” Hand to his, he vowed not to drink and floo again. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Um, yea.” Pulling away from the hold he willed his stomach to settle, he refused to be sick; it would just ruin his makeup. “We need to talk, sit down.” 

“Alright but first you sit down. I need to say something.” 

Harry wished he had another drink in his hand, “Oh, really?” forcing out a smile his mind raced, sitting down on the sofa he arranged the skirt of the outfit so the front length of fabric was tucked between his legs, Jacks attention momentarily averted to the smooth toned expanse of skin exposed. “Jack, sweetie, I know I look good but get on with it.” 

“Oh, rights, yes, um…” Scrambling in his pants pocket, Jack pulled out a small box. Clearing his throat a bit nervously he kneeled on the floor, Harry’s eyes going impossibly wide. “Harry, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost near the end my lovely minions <3<3


	8. Chapter 8

# Gayer Than You

### Part 8

Ginny’s eyes widened a fraction, “You can’t be serious.” 

George shrugged his shoulder, “It’s one of the reasons he latched onto Harry but I think he may love him but that bastard is a right conman. Ron showed me the pictures; they speak a lot louder than words.” 

“Well I never!” seething, “If Harry doesn’t kill him and Ron doesn’t finish him off, I’ll do it my damn self!” 

* 

He thanked Merlin for his unrestricted license of Apparation, being an unspeakable did have its perks. Apparating into his sister’s home he was quick to place a few well thought out wards, a spell here, a charm there, and with a final flick of his wand he barely made it under his handy invisibility cloak –standard issue – as the hearth flared. Bundled in a corner he watched, finally able to see close enough the very appealing get up his sisters friend had decided to wear. For a costume of the ancient Egyptian Queen of the Nile Cleopatra, it looked authentic and very sexy. 

Ron had no doubt that the short bob style was of Harry’s own hair and he had a feeling it was all Harry who designed and made such a piece, he knew no other person who was ballsey enough to wear something so revealing and make it work. He may not know who was who in design but he did understand that the fabric was rich in color and texture, the splits of the skirt doing nothing to hide those shapely legs, the flat sandals with straps that crisscrossed to the knee, the adorning thick band that settled against the stomach adorned with what he could only assume were real jems and swaths of fabric. 

The stomach was bare, such an enticing sight as the top was more of a V cut that showed a tasteful amount of breast that seemed so real, and felt real if Sirius’s shameful poking and astonishment was to be believed, of course Remus slapped the man’s hand away. 

Ron edged closer, his curiosity getting the best of him; maybe it was because his anigmus was of a cat? He had to admit that he felt just a smidgeon of jealousy… alright, it was a bit more of jealousy and it was his own damn fault but Harry was supposed to wait for him! With a mental sigh, Ron finally admitted that he lost it and contented himself watching as Jack knelt on the floor and proposed marriage. 

“Harry, will you do me the honor of marrying me?” 

Ron waited for him to say yes, jump up and down, kiss and fuck… but he was surprised, normally he wasn’t surprised. Harry bit his lip, reaching over he grasped his boyfriends wrists and tugged, “Sit with me, we have to talk.” 

“Is that a no?” 

“No it’s not a no but you need to sit. When I’ve told you some _things_ I hope you’ll ask me the question again.” Taking a deep breath, Harry pushed onward. “I’ve not been completely honest with you, I haven’t lied or cheated but I’ve omitted a few things.” 

“Lying and cheating bad, omitting not so bad, just say yes.” Jack reached over, his knuckles brushing along a cheek. 

“I can’t, not until you know everything. I love you, a lot, but can you love me after… I’ve told… you some… things.” Nervously playing with the man’s fingers he kept his attention on the smooth hands, not a patch of work roughened skin. “While in Hogwarts some stuff happened to me, some things the papers didn’t comment on because Sirius threatened to buy them out and run them through the ground.” 

“He doesn’t hold that sort of weight,” Harry spared him a look, “Look at him, he’s too… happy.” 

“Of course he’s happy, he’s a married the man he’s been with since first year, has a kid, and sleeps with a werewolf. Do you know how kinky and horny buggers they are?” 

“Gross,” grimacing, Jack couldn’t help but ask, “You heard them?” 

“Too many times to count, I’ve caught them several times, which brings the eww factor but no, I actually slept with one.” Harry admitted softly. 

Jack wrinkled his nose, “It’s one thing to associate with one but you slept with a werewolf?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean? I told you I had lovers before you.” 

“But you never mentioned a werewolf.” 

“What’s wrong with a werewolf? They’re like everyone else, they just suffer a different form of PMS.” 

“Nothing, I guess I still have a hang up from my parents… give me a sec.” taking a deep breath he exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, and exhaled, “It’s gone.” 

Harry’s head drooped, his shoulder’s shaking, “You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot, say yes.” Jack urged, scooting closer so their legs touched. “Marry me Harry. We’ll be happy, travel, see the world, adopt a kid a few years from now.” 

Smiling nervously, Harry scooted back, “As I was saying,” Jake frowned, “Sirius may be smiles and pranks but he’s a Black. He can be the meanest son-of-a-bitch you ever meet. You do know about the Dementor’s right?” 

“I remember reading about them. They were rogue or something like that.” 

“They decided, out of all places, to stay in the Dark Forest…” 

“At Hogwarts?” Jake interrupted. 

“Yes.” 

“Your soul is still there so I’m assuming someone died?” 

Harry rolled his eyes, “Too many to count.” At his lover confusion, Harry elaborated. “Before the Dementor’s arrived Death Eaters tried to resurrect Voldemort,” Jake flinched, “To do that they needed me so he could possess me and take over the world, that whole Dark Lord thing. Well, long story short they attacked while I was at the Weasley’s, some bastard broke my nail, I threw a fit, the Death Eater’s were captured, and somehow one managed to wiggle away and cast the AK. When they did that blasted ritual…” 

“The Killing Curse? Someone threw a Killing curse and you’re just all nonchalant about it.” 

“It was a small one.” 

Jake stared, “Small or huge, the Killing Curse kills. Who did it kill?” 

Harry shifted, “It didn’t _kill_ anyone.” 

“But it hit someone?” 

Hesitant, “Yes.” 

“Then it killed someone.” 

“No.” Jake glared, “Alright! It was my fault, I was teasing Percy, he backed into an ugly guy, and the Death Eater stole his wand and cast the A-K. He was cute so I threw myself in the way and heroically saved the day while looking hot, minus a broken nail.” 

Jake dropped his head, fingers rubbing at his eyes, “Harry, just say yes and I can grab a drink and get drunk to forget what you’ve just said.” 

“What’s wrong with what I said?” 

“You’re lying to me to keep yourself from answering my bloody question.” 

Harry glared, “I’m not lying! Sirius carried me to the bloody muggle section of Saint Mungo’s. I didn’t die with the Killing Curse but I sure as hell died there a few times.” 

“Alright, let’s say that I believe you and you somehow, yet again, managed to survive that thing. What does it have to do with Dementor’s and you not saying yes?” 

Harry moved further away, one hand fisted while the other nervously tapped along his thigh, “The Dementor’s were attracted to me because of the damn Death Eaters. They did some pansy ritual which reopened some sort of link to my scar that attracted those things and well… when I was in the hospital I had a bit of a health problem because of the Killing Curse; nothing major, just a shortness of breath.” 

“You were sick?” Jake leaned back slightly, “But your healthy now right?” 

“Yea, I’m healthy, can I get back to my epic tale without interruptions?” Harry was getting just a tad more annoyed; in fact he wanted to shove his boyfriend off the sofa. “While I was playing Quidditch the Dementor’s first attacked, I didn’t know what they were at first, but I managed to avoid them before I was caught and fell off my broom which landed me back in Saint Mungos where, I um, sort of got amnesia.” 

“Amnesia?” Jake said slowly. 

“Yes, when I woke up I wasn’t my delicious self, I was a completely different person but by the end of the year my memories were returning it wasn’t a big deal.” 

“Not a…” Jake shook his head. “Harry listen to yourself, how can this not be a big deal?” 

“Because it’s not, how can I make a deal of it when it’s been forever? It happened and I dealt with it, I wouldn’t have mentioned anything but I wanted you to know something important and before I tell you, you need to know some of the detail.” 

“There’s more?” 

“Of course there’s more but I’m not going to sit here for the next hour and explain all the little details, I have a party I want to enjoy and children to pretend to be annoyed with. You know how they love to see me crack; it’s like their ultimate pass time.” 

Jake couldn’t deny that, the kids, though young still, made it their mission to annoy his poor lover with the most asinine ways… it was upsetting at times. “Fine!” he snapped, “I expect a complete story soon.” 

Gritting his teeth Harry nodded, why was he explaining himself again? “There was a second attack, the Dementor’s at this point were supposed to have been handled but apparently a few decided to wonder off and try to get to me again. This time Ron was with me, we both ran into the Forbidden Forest, and got lost a bit.” 

“Ron?” Jake narrowed his eyes, “That Weasley?” 

Both of Harry’s fingers were now curled into fists, he just wanted to punch the man at this moment. “Yes, the only Weasley named Ronald.” 

“You know I don’t trust him, he’s always making eyes at you.” 

“No he’s not, he’s straight.” 

“But you want him, I know you do.” 

With a sigh, Harry scooted even farther and leaned back into the arm of the sofa, “I did.” He admitted, “But that was back in school, a mere school crush, and I assure you I’m over it.” Not wanting to argue, Jake nodded his head for Harry to continue which he did, “Ron and I tried to make our way back to the castle and out of nowhere a Dementor swooped down and snatched me… now that I think about it, that **was** one of my fantasies except minus the monster and attempt to change me into one of them.” Harry muttered, his sight averted in thought. 

“They what?” Jake shouted. 

Harry jumped, for a moment he had forgotten that he was not alone, “What?” 

“The – the Dementor’s, they tried to – to do whatever to you.” 

“Oh, yes, um, they or I should say one, dragged me to a clearing where I was helpless. I was terrified and my magic just didn’t want to listen and I could do nothing but lay there as the Dementor try to change me into a… well some type of their race. I wouldn’t have been like them; they have a name, a Groolum.” 

“Groolum? I’ve never heard of that.” 

“You wouldn’t, it’s not particularly known but I know more about Dementor’s than probably anyone on this planet that wasn’t them or a Groolum.” 

“What’s a Groolum?” 

Harry sighed, he played with some of the skirts fabric between his fingers, “Dementor’s have their own language, Groolum is the closest English word I can get to what they intended to make me. Honestly, most of this could have been prevented if I had known a few things of myself beforehand but it’s no one’s fault.” 

“You’ve lost me.” 

“I need you to make an unbreakable Oath, a sworn magical Oath that what I’m going to say to you will remain between us.” Jake reared back, confused, “Love and trust has nothing to do with me asking, it’s merely a precaution, the magic will help ensure that not a word will slip making life much easier. My family has sworn and did so without second thought.” 

“But come on, you can trust me, that’s some serious magic.” Jake said, not wanting to do such a thing. 

“Necessary magic; I won’t budge on this, either you swear or I say no and this relationship is over.” 

Panicked, Jake couldn’t end this relationship, he had too much riding on this, them. “Harry…” 

“Jake, I’m serious.” Harry leaned forward; there was something in his eyes, a spark of red that had Jake shifting. He knew that for all of Harry’s odd quirks of being outlandishly gay, the man before him could seriously damage his person. If the former Slytherin thought Sirius, his own father, had a streak of meanness, it was nothing compared to the raven haired man that was his. “Swear or get up and floo to your apartment.” 

Hesitantly, Jake swore, the rush of magic surging through him, a most uncomfortable feeling. He now had no choice but to remain silent… 

Deciding to once again attempt to get this conversation over with, Harry forced himself to just speak, “The Potter line holds a secret, they’re Barer’s.” 

Jake’s jaw dropped, his eyes widened, excitement swelled in him, this was well worth that stupid oath. “You can pop out kids?” 

Harry frowned, “Yes, I can have children. I take a very strong contraceptive every month and why I make you take one also.” 

“Don’t forget those muggle things.” 

“Condoms, they’re called condoms.” 

“Whatever, they’re crude.” 

“Crude or not you wear them or no sex. The potion you take isn’t as strong but it doesn’t help to be doubly sure.” 

Jake nodded his head, if only Harry knew, “So… we can have children?” 

“Later on, I don’t want them now.” Harry admitted. 

Jake stared off into the distance, his mind running away with himself, for some reason he found his restraint loosing itself and his normally carefully chosen words just let loose. 

* 

Ron reached into his pocket, once again thankful for his connections. Pulling out a small phial of a swirling silver smoke, he moved himself closer to the pair. He could see how the slimy git was setting Harry on edge. With his wand he removed the rubber stopper which was quickly banished and with practiced ease he commanded the silvery smoke to remove itself from its confine and swirl around the tip of his polished wand, his work wand, third one actually. 

With a slight flick of his wrist and silent command the smoke eased through the fabric and floated towards brown haired man, a small cloud remained on the tip of his wand and he watched as the free tendrils were breathed in through both the mouth and nose. With a smile that wasn’t particularly nice, Ron decided that this was a perfect time for his Harry to know a few _things_. “Contraceptive Potion.” He whispered, just a breadth of air embracing the small round silver cloud that clung to the tip of his wand. 

Jake blinked, his mind oddly at ease, “Luck must be with us then.” He said. 

“Why?” Harry asked. 

Jake shrugged his shoulder, not a care in the world, “Because, I stopped taking that damn potion after the first time.” 

“You did what? You promised you would…” 

_‘Whores’_ … “Jessica, Lindsey, Allen, Kristy, Jeff, Mark, and Anthony.” 

Harry stared, “Who? What?” 

“My favorites at the Brothel in Barkturn Road, a quick jump from Knockturn Alley.” Was Jakes answer right before his eyes widened and he slapped a hand at his mouth. 

Harry narrowed his eyes, “This had better be a joke or I swear…” 

_‘Daily Prophet and the others’_ … Jake’s hand moved on its own, his lips moved, his ears listening to what he couldn’t believe he was spouting. “If you hadn’t placed that damn oath over my head I could have made a lot of money off this Barer thing. The Prophet and others are just dying for new material.” _‘The Money’_ … “They pay really well, how do you think I’m able to live like I do, my other job is something to keep me a bit busy.” 

With an angry and sharp cut through the air with his arm, there was a pause… and a loud whooshing sound before the room was quick to rattle and the invisibility cloak was forced away to reveal Ron. Ron didn’t think he was ever so terrified, minus the Dementor’s, and even then they didn’t compare to the sheer look of death shooting out of his sisters best friends eyes. “Ronald. Billius. Weasley.” His whole name, Merlin, not even his mother had resorted to that in a very long time. 

* 

Whispering into his wand Ron found himself enjoying outing the bastard. With this particular work of magic, words had to be short and to the point, while it took more mental work than few were comfortable with. Thankfully, Ron was the best in his field even after such a short time, if only that know it all muggleborn Granger could just see him now. Just as he was ready to make the bastard reveal more he found the cloak he wore somewhere behind him… this was not good. Maybe he should have been paying more attention than daydreaming. “Ronald. Billius. Weasley.” 

“I can explain.” 

“Oh? I would love to hear it, how could this not be what it looks like? You trying to sabotage my relationship!” 

“I was not!” Ron defended. “I was trying to show you how much of a lying bastard he was!” 

“You expect me to believe what’s come out of his mouth now? I know all about mind manipulation Ronald and this is a classic.” Harry glared, “I thought you were better than that.” 

This wasn’t going as he had planned; Ron had expected for Jake, the Bastard, to speak his crimes and Harry run off and preferably to him who he could comfort into his bed. “It doesn’t work that way.” Holding up his wand, the tip a soft swirl of silver, Harry stared at with a tilt of his head. “A new invention, instead of drinking the Truth Serum it was made into a gas to be inhaled. Pretty heavy magic to keep it in place but after a while you get used to it and it’s like everyday stuff.” 

Harry arched a brow, “You’ve done this before?” 

Ron spared a glance at the glaring man on the sofa, “That’s classified.” 

“Well un-classify it because it’s hard to believe you right now, if I wanted to I can make a similar glow to my…” Harry trailed off as Ron produced an empty phial and handed it to him. “What’s this?” 

“You might know your fabrics but you could have been an apprentice to Snape, check it.” Ron urged. 

“Harry you’re not going to…” Jakes angry words were cut off with a soft motion of Harry’s hand, binding and silencing the man. Ron couldn’t have been more turned on, Harry had always downplayed his magic and to do something that would have taken more than a second and without words… was hot as hell. Oh the possibilities! 

“Shut up.” Sniffing at the lip of the phial, Harry tapped at the clear glass with a finger and watched as it tinted to a soft pink before it disappeared. With a scowl, Harry turned his attention to the very nervous frame of his lover. “Veritaserum has no smell and no taste,” Harry explained, “But it’s one of the easiest to detect of all the potions out there. Who wouldn’t notice the pink? After all, it’s a sure sign considering the person given the damn thing has a pink tongue for a little while depending on its strength.” Holding out the phial so Jake could clearly see it, eyes riveted on it, “Because of it being diluted to a gas it’s not the most strongest but I’m going to assume the reason why some is stuck to a wand is because the caster has to will it with their own magic – quite dark.” 

“Only those authorized can make use of it, the serum is a more updated version.” 

“I gathered that, Snape was working on something similar my last year, he must have made a fortune.” With a sigh Harry handed over the phial back to Ron, “What are we going to do with you Jake?” with a sympathetic shake of his head he placed a hand on the bound mans knee, “First you admit that you didn’t take the contraceptive potion, I like to make sure that I’m protected from all sides with all my lovers, then you say you whored yourself out with not one person but quite a few.” 

“He took whores.” 

“I forgot about that, but I was talking about the Newspaper, he must have been talking to reporters’ right, he gave pleasure and earned a prophet so he basically whored himself. It just reminds me that now, because of you, I have to have my guardians schedule me a trip to a Healer which mean I have to inform them of **your** indiscretion.” Jakes eyes widened, Harry’s fingers clenched before removing themselves, “What else love, what else could you have done to me?” turning his attention to Ron he arched a brow, “Well?” 

“You want me to have him tell you?” 

“In part, but I trust you not to lie to me, I want the facts.” 

“Well,” Ron rocked on his heels, enjoying this nice turn of events, “The bastard has a gambling problem for one, he’s sold your stories to bail him out with a few sharks out there.” 

Harry turned his head to Jake, eyes boring into the man who couldn’t look away from the emerald gaze of ice – he was so screwed and not in a good way. “Gambling? Let me guess he has a drinking problem to meet with that gambling?” 

“Not that I’ve noticed.” 

“Well good, at least there’s one thing to cross of my list. Besides the gambling and being a stooge, what else?” 

“How about we have him tell you?” 

“This must be good,” not a finger was moved, “Go on.” 

Taking the wand close to his lips Ron whispered and Jake found that unfortunately that his mouth moved while the rest of him remained bound. “You’re the hottest catch out there so I had to have you. When you kissed me I knew this would be a perfect opportunity to get in and have access to all your gold. The Potter’s and Black’s are the richest in England.” Ron whispered into his wand again, “Once we’re married you can pop a few kids, because you’re the Boy-Who-Lived the marriage proposals will pour in and I know of a few men who would like nothing more than to have a taste of them, the gold from that would be…” 

The world erupted into chaos. 

* 

Their theme for the night wasn’t so original but oh so kinky. Because of a lost bet, Sirius had to wear a collar and a leash; it wouldn’t have been so bad if the leather collar didn’t have the bold inscription of _LUPINS BITCH_ etched for the world to see… and what a world it was in the Ministry of Magic. Remus didn’t seem to mind, after all, he wore comfortable clothes considering he was dressed as an aristocrat while Sirius… well the poor bloke did his best to ignore the stares he received while strutting himself in a pair of leather pants and sandals. No shirt. No robe. No nothing but leather pants and sandals. 

The leash was wound tightly in Remus’s fist; he glared at Kingsley who took a second to take in the full costume of the proud heir of the Black fortune. Kingsley was quick to look away and focus his attention at the lone figure sitting at a table knitting – how the boy got two needles and yarn was beyond him. “The Minister is having a fit,” Kingsley started, “He would like to know how a man was put into a cell in the maximum security section of Azkaban with no way for anyone to get at him.” 

“You want me to believe that Harry, my son Harry, sent his lover to Azkaban?” 

Remus gave Sirius a look, “Would it be so hard to believe if the man was a complete ass hole.” 

“No but Jake’s a good kid.” Frowning, “Isn’t he?” 

“I overheard a conversation between Ginny and one of the twins, being a werewolf does have its perks.” Sirius spared his lover a look; he could tell that Remus was far from happy, in fact, he looked ready to snarl. “Can we see him?” 

Kingsley glanced behind him, “Technically you’re not supposed to be down here but I was never one for rules.” Before they could so much as open the door, Kingsley spoke out, curious. “Why is he knitting?” 

“Harry learned from Molly, it wasn’t easy for him to pick up,” Sirius said, “So he does it when he’s very angry.” 

“He said it keeps him from killing anyone, that boy’s a perfectionist, heaven forbid a stitch is out of place.” Remus finished. 

Kingsley could only nod as they went in; he remained behind, watching and listening through the hidden mirror. 

* 

“You’ve got to be shit’n me.” It was said more in amusement than anything else, Tonks wand held loosely in her hand. 

“I’m telling you, If I wasn’t just a bit afraid of him, I’m petrified now.” Ron admitted with a shake of his head. 

“Harry can say a lot of shit about the kids but he loves them, he’s a pure drama queen, I’m not really surprise he would snap when someone threatens about you know what.” Her eyes peered over the red heads shoulder to a door that was surrounded by several Dementor’s, the screams from inside was expertly ignored. “Just last week he bitched about Lil’ Alfy spitting up on his new designer shirt but not a second later he was front and center when that boy tripped and hit his head on the table.” 

Ron smiled softly, he remembered, Percy had left his son to be watched for a few minutes and the boy was accident prone. Harry was known to cast cushioning charms all over the place just in case and Harry did feel horrible that he forgot this time. “I’ll have to pull it out but you should have seen it, his eyes went, like this reddish color and I could have sworn that bastard pissed himself.” 

“You know, I never liked that dweeb, but Sirius loved him.” 

“Yea.” Agreed Ron, it was true. 

Tonks smiled, a predatory sort of twitch to the lips, never mess with a Black really, “Wait until he finds out, Sirius can be just as ferocious as Remus… I can’t wait.” 

* 

Flopped on the table, half forgotten, was a perfectly started scarf that could do with a few more inches. The colors seemed to very, in fact the colors were all from the four houses of Hogwarts but the scarf was little more than a distraction. On one side of the table were two men, fathers, and on the other was a lone young man who for the moment looked more woman than man. He talked, the youngest, his lips and tongue moved while the other two listened, their jaws clenching, eyes flashing, an occasional growl from one and snarl from another, their fingers flexed into fists, and bodies shifted as they stifled the urge to get up and just kill something. 

“He took the Oath so he can’t say anything beyond what little I told him of the Dementor’s and Hogwarts.” Silence descends on the room with four brick walls, one wall an illusion. “Do you know what happens when a Groolum is harmed? Be it physically or emotionally?” Harry stared off into the distance, eyes unfocussed, the men in front of him watched and accepted as a swirl of red appeared amongst the emerald. 

“There are so few of my kind…” it was said so low that Remus caught it loud and clear but Sirius had to strain for it, Kingsley heard not a word, “Death is the only consolation.” 

Off in the distance, so many miles away, in a castle that sat alone with cells instead of rooms, a latch on a door once claimed unopenable clicked. The three Dementor’s waiting and tasting the air of the pleading man crooned in pleasure before they each burst forth, savoring each second, their time uninterrupted as the door shut behind them and the humans trying their best to stop them – there was no stopping retribution of a wrong made to one of their own, one of their precious ones even if that one was unable to be with them… for now. 

* * *

1 more chapter to go...


	9. End...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it comes to a close with a bittersweet happy ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those that stood along side this story with up-most patience. Besos till the next ficlet :)

# Gayer Than You

### END

There was no celebration, no parties, cakes, or streamers, when Harry arrived home four days after being brought in to the Ministry and the mysterious demise of his lover… the world was buzzing with speculation and anticipation. The house was quiet, not even the screech from a child greeted their entrance, Remus had asked Molly to babysit which she gladly did. Harry made his way up the flight of stairs silently, not a word passing his lips. His parents followed right behind him, their worry was clear but they kept it to themselves. 

Veering to his left, Harry waltzed into the Master Bedroom that just screamed Sirius and Remus what with books and several brooms lying about. Removing his cloak, shoes, and socks, he made his way to the large master bed, his shirt and jeans fluttered before changing to a sleeping shirt and draw string pants with not a motion of the hand or a muttered word. Both men watched as their son settled himself beneath the sheets, the quilt tugged over his head. Sharing a glance between themselves they quickly undressed and slipped on some sleeping pants that were lying about from early that morning. 

While the Minister smoothed over the rumors and papers, no word is mentioned on how or why the lover of the Boy-Who-Lived ended up in Azkaban, or how he was somehow given the Kiss yet… there was no body to account for. The outside world could do as it pleased, Harry cared naught for it, he cared nothing for the people but those he knew and loved, he didn’t care about the masses… why should he? All he cared about at the moment is why he _hurt_ so much? Why did his chest ache? Why did his head pound? 

Why… why? 

He should have laughed it off, brushed away the time he spent with that no good, dirty, lying son-of-a-bitch but… he felt heartbroken. Why? Why would he feel such emotion for someone who slept around, sold him out, and basically told him that he was worthless, just another meal ticket? Where was his cold Slytherin exterior? Where was his old self who would shrug and say ‘oh well’ instead of resting in his parents bed and breaking down in their arms when they held him closely? Why did he sob and need to be soothed? 

Maybe it was because he did love him, maybe it was because he hoped this was the one person who could pull him away from his first true love and leave it only a memory… or maybe it was because it took a certain red head who wanted nothing to do with him to show him that what he felt was not only one sided but something that was expendable. Sleep came and soon all three men were slumbering, one, the youngest, firmly held together by two grown men who would gladly tare at an enemy… there was no safer place to be, no quieter place to think and snuggle against as the days worth of strife spread thin so he was able to pick at it, inspect it, and mold it to work for him. He was a Slytherin after all, what was best for him was best for everyone. 

* 

The bar was loud and jam packed with the young and old, the tables filled, Butterbeer and Firewhiskey passed around like water to thirsty men. In the far corner, hidden behind a rudimentary privacy ward sat two men, Arthur Weasley and Ron Weasley, a father and son; peanuts sat between them, shells scattered along the tabletop and empty bottles of Butterbeer along with it. “He turned me gay you know.” Arthur bit his lip, for the last hour they talked about everything and nothing, small talk. If this was how his son wanted to start the conversation that needed to be talked about, then so be it. “I was a perfectly straight man and then he goes and tempts me with snogging my brothers.” 

“He said it himself; you were too straight for him.” Arthur pointed out, amused. 

“Please, he knew what he was doing.” Popping a peanut in his mouth he admitted what he never told anyone besides his sister, “We were on assignment for Snape, picking ingredients from the Forest and I asked him why he wouldn’t kiss me, he said he couldn’t. Said I only wanted him to kiss me because my brothers had something I couldn’t and I told him that no I wanted him to but he still said no.” 

“He’s always been fascinated with you.” A truth his wife would be the first to confide in him with amused glee. Harry after all was a fine catch with a wealth of his own and a status that wouldn’t hurt. 

“I know, I kind of always knew he **liked** me, what’s so hard not to like? But that’s why he wouldn’t kiss me ‘cause he liked me too much… how’s that possible?” Ron looked at his father who was nursing a Butterbeer, “I’m so confused… he made me think of guys that way. How can one person twist my whole life around?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with it son, Percy and Ginny are the only straight ones of your siblings.” 

Ron shook his head, “No, Ginny had a… _experimental_ phase her last year.” Arthur blinked, surprised, “I swear the only normal folk in the house is you and mom plus Charlie. Everyone else have poof qualities.” Cracking a peanut he glanced up at his father who shifted in his seat, a sort of guilty look on his face, “Please no… please tell me you…” 

“It was before I met your mother.” Arthur said, in a sick way he enjoyed the horror etched onto his son’s face, “I was involved with a young man for the summer.” 

“Dad!” 

“And I believe your mother had her own _experimental_ phase as well.” 

Ron felt his mouth gape open, shocked. “No… no! I so did not need to hear that!” 

“It’s the truth.” Arthur smiled, “Look Ron, believe it or not everyone, mostly everyone, has an experimental phase or they’re like your brothers, willing to shag anything or as flaming as a flamingo.” 

“Dad, I hope you know that this moment in my life has just cause years of mental counseling.” Arthur laughed, “It’s not funny, we’re talking Galleons of therapy!” 

“Just grow up and accept that you like Harry, you know he likes you, you just need to woo him.” Giving his son a more serious look he continued on, “While I would like nothing more than for Harry to be a part of this family you should understand that if you harm him in any shape or form, no amount if hiding could keep death away. His parents won’t take kindly to you if this turns out to be a simple fling.” 

Ron frowned down at the peanut in his hands. Sadly it and the handful of others didn’t hold the answers he wanted, given to him in a nut shaped platter. If he could read tea leaves then why not the inside of a peanut shell? “So it’s alright if he made me gay?” 

Arthur very nearly choked on his drink. Of all his children Ron had to be the most dramatic of them all, including his precious and only Daughter who was a trial in her own blessed right. “He didn’t make you gay.” Enjoying the squirming of his son Arthur added, “Even if he did, you couldn’t have chosen a better life partner.” 

Sigh, “That’s true.” Ron chucked an empty shell at his father as the man outright laughed at his plight. 

* 

**KNOCK**

**KNOCK**

**KNOCK**

Severus dipped his quill in red ink, the tip scratching along parchment scribbled with black ink. “Enter.” He said, not bothering to look up from the page that now had more red than black. 

The door closed softly, feet scuffed the stone floor with every step, Severus knew that sound, his quill paused, his eyes stilling, he didn’t dare look away from the mockery of the assignment handed by some prepubescent seventh year, only to find that his eyes had a mind of their own. Hands settled on his desk top, he knew those hands, fingers thin and slightly long, nails perfectly trimmed and painted with a light pinkish tint with just a brush of silver glitter… those hands could only belong to one person, “Potter.” 

“Hello Ssseverusss.” The S in the Potions Master’s name hissed much to his annoyance. 

* 

**BOOM!**

Dumbledore jumped, the quill in his hand scratching an ugly line on a very important page – his _Headmaster Daily’s_ crossword puzzle. “You – you…” Severus marched in, he was too angry to think of a complete sentence. “How could you!” 

Amused, very amused, Dumbledore peered at the fairly young Professor over his rimless glasses that sat perched on his crooked nose, “Severus, would you care for a lemon drop or perhaps some tea?” 

“Tea? How can you offer tea after what you’ve done!” the Potions Master practically screeched in abject horror. 

Dumbledore’s beard twitched as he tried valiantly to hide a smile, “I’ve done nothing.” 

Severus glared, “I’ve come to hand in my resignation.” 

“No.” 

Severus straightened his spine, “No?” 

“That’s right,” Dumbledore smiled, “No. Come now Severus, it can’t be as bad as you like to think.” 

“It’s worse, it’ll be much worse! How could you hire that miserable brat!” 

“The same brat you’ve complained the last few years you wished apprenticed for you.” Severus’s jaw clenched, he remained silent. “This couldn’t have come at a better time we are desperate for a new Defense Professor what with the last one barely lasting the year, quite unfortunate he contracted Dragon Pox don’t you think? I would hope you would be ecstatic to have another Slytherin to plot and snark with.” 

“The boy is a thorn on my side.” Taking a seat he slouched in the chair, “He would never snark, he fears premature wrinkles if he had to glare too often.” 

Jovially Dumbledore popped a lemon drop in his mouth, this was going much better than he had expected. “It won’t be too bad Severus, a new friend, someone to take you away from the dungeons once in the while.” 

“I like the dungeons, too much sun is detrimental to my health as you well know.” 

Dumbledore arched a brow, “Seeing as you carry no vampire blood, I find that excuse unnecessary, try again.” 

“He will be the death of me Albus, I swear. That boy will stop at nothing to see me have a nervous breakdown. Do you know how frustrating it is too keep his hands from my body? I do not appreciate being molested.” 

“That’s a serious accusation Severus, sexual harassment…” 

“Far from it, he swears I would look _dashing_ in one of his many designs, he can conjure a roll of measuring tape and has already attempted to measure my person for new attire because he refuses to see me **EVERY** day with the same fashion faux pas.” Severus finished with a scowl as Dumbledore lost his battle and laughed. 

* 

“You’re what?” Sirius stared at his son in pure disbelief. 

“I’m taking a sabbatical.” 

“I know that but why Hogwarts?” 

“What else is there but Hogwarts? Face it dad, there’s no other place where I can go that I won’t get mauled by the media or the rabid fans. I make the drama; I prefer not to have others surround me every time I set foot in a public place.” 

“You can live the life of a bachelor… like me.” 

“You’re not a bachelor.” Harry pointed out gleefully, “You’re a married man **AND** you have a screaming toddler stumbling about.” 

Sirius glared, “Just wait until you have kids, we’ll see who has the last laugh.” 

“Well I’m sure how you raised me I’ll be a great dad.” Sirius, not expecting such a _compliment_ snapped his mouth shut, he was speechless. “Of course I have to find myself a husband first; I refuse to raise all of my kids by myself.” 

Clearing his throat Sirius shifted in his chair, he needed to shift the conversation somewhere safe, he was a man. He couldn’t break down, well, not without Remus there to laugh his arse off. “Kids? How many do you plan on having?” 

Harry shrugged his shoulder, sliding his crumb filled plate further up the table and resting his arms on the polished wood, “If I’m going to have kids I may as well go all out.” 

Slightly afraid, Sirius asked the important question, “How many?” 

“How many players are on a Quidditch team?” a perfectly arched brow arched as Sirius choked on air and grabbed his chest in a dramatic gesture of a heart attack. 

* 

“What did you do now?” 

Harry looked up, the most innocent face he could possibly mustered and perfected over time. “Muah?” 

“Yes, Muah. How did you get him to pass out?” Remus peered down at his fallen husband who for the moment laid stretched out on a conjured sofa in the middle of the kitchen. Currently Harry was taking the opportunity to play with the man’s now even curlier hair putting in highlights along with a fresh trim. 

“I told him I wanted my own Quidditch team once I get married then I went in for the kill.” 

“Oh Merlin no, you didn’t.” 

“I told him my future husband would have the opposing team.” 

* 

Flowers and… chocolates, Harry tilted his head to the side slightly, his eyes taking in the mess of his new teaching rooms. Every square inch of available space had been taken over by bushels of various sweet smelling flowers and heart or individually wrapped chocolates that would any other day have his mouth watering but Harry found himself slightly annoyed. In his hand was a simple card: _My Intentions of Courtship, Ronald B. Weasley._ “I see you’re starting trouble Potter.” Severus peered over the young man’s shoulder; he was a good deal taller. 

“You could be right, this has left me baffled.” Harry admitted as he continued to stare at the mess, a part of him still surprised with this new turn of events. 

“What’s there to be baffled of? You’ve always held a torch for that Weasley boy and now he’s finally come to his senses.” 

“Do you expect me to fall to my knees and thank the gods and rush to his side before we live happily ever after?” glancing at his former Head of House, Severus smirked, “I’m no Gryffindor.” 

“I would be disappointed if you were; to behave in such a way is more Hufflepuff than Gryffindor I must say.” 

With a nod of his head Harry came to a decision, Snapping his fingers all but one bushel of flowers and a dozen boxes were left and stacked neatly on his desk. “Sometimes, less is more.” 

“What have you done with the rest?” Severus questioned, curious. 

“The House Elves have been very helpful with my unpacking.” Leisurely making his way to his new desk he took a box of candy that quickly unwrapped itself to reveal truffles, “They deserve something special.” 

“Charming your spy network I see.” Severus drawled before plucking an offered chocolate from its velvety confines, these were indeed pricey but oh so good. 

“House Elves are notoriously misunderstood.” Sitting atop the wood surface he waited for the older man to join him, it had been a long while since they enjoyed each other’s company, at least without the madness. “They’re sneaky little buggers but they’re loyal to a fault… if Voldemort was a smart man he would have won the war, who doesn’t have a house elf?” 

Severus chewed thoughtfully; of course he wouldn’t admit that the boy had a point… 

* 

“Shouldn’t you be looking for a job?” Ron’s shadow fell over his sister who was lying on a oversized beach towel. 

“I’m on break.” Ginny answered, “Get out of my sun, I like my tans even.” 

“You’re in the real world Gin, how are you going to pay your rent or put food on your table without a deposit every week?” 

“Did you move out of my sun?” Ron rolled his eyes and took a step to the side, “Thank you.” 

“How are you able to afford coming here?” looking about the white sand and the rich and infamous, he would have liked nothing more than to stay behind and enjoy the waves but he was on his lunch break. 

“You’re here.” 

“I flashed my badge.” Ron shrugged his shoulder. 

“I forgot, the great Ronald Weasley, no one can bar him, he’s an Unspeakable.” Ginny taunted, a smile to her lips, “So how’s the courting going?” it looked like her solo trip of relaxation was on hold. In the distance she could hear the crashing of waves and cry of a seagull, the salt in the air may have been good for her skin but she just couldn’t ignore her brother and his romantic woes. “Come on, sit with me. Talk to me.” Sitting up herself Ginny pulled her wand from her purse and tapped her beach towel expanding it. 

“First tell me how you’re able to afford such _luxuries_?” Ron watched, a tad skeptical as his sister tried to transfigure a random seashell into a lopsided beach umbrella. It wasn’t perfect but surprisingly it worked as it hovered stationary in the air. 

“Harry spoils me and is very generous with my salary.” Which was true, “I hope you’re at least using a cooling charm on those Robes Ron.” She patted a spot next to her, “Come. Sit.” 

Glancing around he knew he stuck out like a sore thumb but Ron was here on a mission. A very serious mission. A mission so serious he should have remained professional and intimidating… “Ginny…” 

“Sit Ronald!” 

Ron would blame it on years of conditioning but his dear sweet harpy of sister sounded just like his mother. He moved before he could think twice and Ron sat. Uncomfortable with the smug grin that settled on his sisters sun kissed face, her oversized sunglasses hiding her glee. Shifting, Ron looked out into the sparkling sea, “So you’re going to laze about for the rest of your life?” 

Silence settled between them as Ginny adjusted herself. Crossing her legs properly and staring out into the ocean as well. “I thought about it” She admitted gently, softly. “But no. I got used to the drama and excitement so I’ll wait until Harry gets out of this funk of his. This sabbatical shouldn’t last long, before you know it he’ll be back to the runway and everything will be just as it’s supposed to be, back to normal.” 

“I think Harry’s serious about this Gin, I mean, really serious.” Ron ignored his sisters quick glare he could feel hotter than the sun itself, “I was talking to Severus and he said by next school year Harry would be his new apprentice, he’s sure he can convince him with a promise to revolutionize the industry.” 

Ginny scoffed, “Harry wouldn’t spend the rest of his life doing something that could possible ruin his hair, those potion fumes aren’t the best thing for the scalp, look at Snape.” 

“You’re in denial.” 

Ginny frowned, “No I’m not.” 

“Yes you are,” amused, “You don’t want to believe that Harry doesn’t need you by his side twenty-four seven and everything’s going to change.” 

“Nothing’s changing, Harry’s just going through a faze. Besides, Harry will **always** need me, I’m his best friend, not you, me.” 

“I didn’t say you weren’t.” Ron nudged her with his shoulder as he shifted towards her. 

“Look, why did you come here, you just completely ruined my afternoon.” Slouched over Ginny toyed with the odd small pile of sand that was kicked onto her towel. What did her twat of a brother know? He didn’t really know her best friend… not like her. She was sure this was just a faze. Harry loved his fazes but Fashion was his passion, his cash cow, his life! 

“I need some more advice on how to woo your friend.” Ron admitted, deciding that he was better off changing the subject. 

Her mood quickly slipped from annoyance to outright glee. “Not so easy is it?” 

Ron heaved a heavy sigh. “No, it’s not.” 

Both simply sat there, the wind ruffling their hairs, the waves gently brushing ashore… it was peaceful, quiet. “You’re right you know.” Ginny said hating that her traitorous brain had to over think and mill over some key facts Harry had mentioned before leaving the fashion world for a classroom. “I always thought we would be this dream team, me and him. We would travel the world and grow old together, just having fun and not caring what everyone else thought but I guess this lifestyle got to me. Being famous is harder than it looks you know.” 

Ron rolled his eyes, “What you had was no lifestyle, it was pure madness. Mom was getting worried, she didn’t want you to forget who you were and try to be someone you’re not but Harry always made a point to come home and ground you so she really couldn’t say anything not with him bringing her boxes of fabrics she could play with.” 

“Remember last year, dad’s birthday?” both laughed remembering, “Harry took him up on that air balloon ride and they watched those winged muggle things fly in the air.” 

“Dad came home in a daze.” 

“Why wouldn’t he, Harry took him up one of those winged things, Dad’s never been the same since.” Smile still in place Ginny peered at her brother, “You know… if you want a Slytherin, sometimes you have to think like one.” 

“I can be sneaky; it’s part of my job.” He was good at the sneaky. 

“No, not sneaky.” Turning slightly so she was at least partially facing him she continued on, “Harry has money right?” 

“Loads of it.” Ron admitted and understood, he himself had money, not nearly as much but he was well off thankfully. 

“So he’s used to it. He’s been wined and dined, taken to fancy shows, he’s mingled with the rich and famous but that’s not him.” A part of Ron doubted that, he had read every article splashed on the tabloids and it looked like Harry reveled in the spotlight. “Remus was always the one who did the normal people stuff.” 

“Normal?” 

Ginny bit her lip, the taste of the ocean still lingering. “Look Ron, I’m only telling you this because I know you love him. The real him. I’m pretty sure he still loves you.” Plowing on before Ron could speak Ginny made a point to stare straight ahead, not at her brother, it was easier. “Sirius grew up with money, he had it so he spent it on the finer things. Harry would rather stay with Remus than do all that stuff. Harry likes adventure, he likes to drag us to the seedy places of both worlds to eat someplace random or visit the carnivals or get a picnic basket and treck into the Forbidden Forest sometimes.” 

“What?” 

“Don’t be so surprised.” 

“But… he nearly died in those woods.” 

“Yep.” Ginny agreed. 

“He was attacked.” 

“Yep.” 

“His soul almost sucked out by a Dementor and you’re telling me the two of you had a bloody picnic in the Forbidden Forest? **The** Forbidden Forest.” 

“Yep.” 

“How fucking insane, stupid, dumb…” 

Ginny grabbed a handful of sand and tossed it at her brother, shutting him up fast as he now complained about sand in places sand did not belong. “You’re making it sound like we went out there on a full moon wearing necklaces of steaks. There’s a clearing that has a small waterfall close to Hagrid’s hut. Fang likes to tag along and Harry makes these flower necklaces for the nymphs that has territory there. Shut up and listen, it’s the simple things in life Harry enjoys.” 

Ron scowled as he spelled his robes sand free, “So nothing fancy?” 

“Exactly, keep it simple” 

“I don’t get it… I mean how can he **not** want to live like this.” Ron gestured outwards, towards the scattered crowd of the Elite. 

Ginny flopped back on her blanket frustrated. “Ron, what was the best times we all had together when we were kids? The stuff that got us excited and we looked forward too?” 

He didn’t have to think long that, “We went to the beach, did picnics by the watering hole, went out to muggle London sometimes.” Frowning, “He would like stuff like that?” 

He sounded genuinely confused mingled with surprise, “Yes.” Ginny waved a hand in the air, “That bastard never did those things with Harry; it was always a gala here or a photo opportunity there and Harry went along with it because he loved the two faced bastard.” 

“The man is dead Gin.” 

“Good! No one saw just how miserable he was at times. Harry loved taking the kids to the Zoos and the parks, he loved being away from all that froo froo stuff. As much as he bitched and moaned about his nails he was the first to help build a sand castle or herd everyone to the muggle world.” She snapped her fingers, “It’s that restaurant… yellow and red with that muggle clown that sells burgers.” 

Ron had no idea what she was talking about. The last muggle food he had was from a street vendor – a hot dog in the States. “I thought maybe that was too… I don’t know… beneath him?” 

Ginny smacked him on the arm for good measure, “Just trust me alright. Instead of sending him dozens of roses and chocolates try an invitation to a Quidditch match or a muggle theme park, just be you. Simple is better but don’t forget to spoil him, he likes to be spoiled.” 

“Okay, alright, I think I got it… this is much harder than I thought it would **ever** be.” Ron admitted before he stood and brushed himself off, his lunch break had come and gone but it was worth it. Harry was worth it. 

* 

Perfection, it was something Harry strived for and without much effort he knew he exuded it. The compact mirror he used to check his hair clamped shut, the sound seemingly like a boom in the quiet and watchful class of third years. “Hello everyone, my lovely Ravenclaw’s and Hufflepuff’s,” Legs swinging off his desk he used as a seat, Harry smiled his charming smile showing off his row of perfectly kept teeth, “Now that I have your attention I would like to introduce myself, my name is Harry Potter-Black. You may all call me Professor Potter. I don’t know what your previous Professor taught you so it would only be fair to warn you that the next time we meet I will be having a pop quiz to see what you all know. Nothing fancy and nothing to be concerned about, this is for my benefit alone and in no way will be used as a grade for the end of year.” There were relieved breadths from the students, “This little speech doesn’t exist after the pop quiz of course. You are here to learn and learn you shall.” A hand went up and Harry motioned for the young Hufflepuff to speak. 

“Professor Potter, will we be using the same texts as our last…” trailing off, the young girl noticed that her new DADA Professor wasn’t paying attention to her but something else. Glancing behind herself she felt her eyes widened as right there at the door was none other than… some strange man. 

Harry frowned, “Ron?” 

Ron never felt so nervous, why was he nervous? That’s right, he decided to finally court his infatuation and take his sisters advice… he was crazy! “Hello Harry.” Calm and collective, at least on the outside, Ron stepped further into the room and walked through a very familiar space between desks, dear Merlin, was he ever this small? 

“What are you doing here? Is everyone alright?” 

“Everyone’s fine… at least I hope so.” With a shake of his head Ron laughed lightly, “I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.” Harry watched as the red head seemingly pulled a single blue rose with iced over edges from his inside his robes, it was impressive. “I just came to give you this and ask if you would accompany me to a picnic or walk, whichever you prefer.” 

The Slytherin in Harry melted… he was a romantic at heart, like his father Remus, and it was no surprise that Harry found a slight blush creep to his cheeks. “You could have sent an owl.” Harry accepted the rose, it was an odd and not so local plant; Ron must have gotten it at one of his ‘adventures’ for the Ministry. 

“I wanted to see you.” Was the red heads simple answer much to the eye rolling of the boys and gushes of the girls. 

Biting his lip Harry felt strangely sappy and not so much in control like he was used to, “Alright, how about this Saturday?” 

“Picnic or walk?” Harry gave him a look, “Both?” 

“You learn fast now go, I have a class to teach.” 

By pure impulse Ron took Harry’s hand and brushed his lips over the soft skin of the knuckles. “Bye Mr. Potter.” with a last bow Ron left. Harry was left to his day dreams much to the giggles of his class. 

* 

Christmas came with a flurry of activity that year. The children ran underfoot much to the delight and slight aggravation of Molly Weasley as she tried to finish desert. Because of the size of the brood, the mixed family decided to hold the holidays at one of the Black residents where land stretched as far as the eye could see and thankfully there were several quite excited house elves that were there to help. 

The tree stretched high up, the twinkling star at the very tip just brushing along the ceiling, the children and adults had a grand time decoration what they could reach so it was no surprise to have the lower portion a dizzying array of knick knacks cluttered over every inch while at the adults reach more elaborate minus the mayhem but further up the tree boasted a traditional decorating style – it was perfect for pictures and jokes. 

There was more to celebrate, Percy and Penelope were celebrating the upcoming birth of their second child which happened to be twins much to the excitement of the original Weasley Twins who couldn’t help but torment their brother. Through all the commotion, laughter, screeches from the children, there was one couple who garnered just a bit more attention. While Harry chatted and mingled with his family Ron was finding himself cornered by two very scary, scary, men. “I swear…” again he found himself interrupted. 

“We like you Ron, we really do but if you hurt my son I’ll do just exactly as I explained two minutes ago.” Sirius threatened. 

Ron had been threatened before, more times than he could remember, but nothing scared him more than a Werewolf and the Black Heir… these two were known for keeping their word. Before he could try once again to utter a word in his defense and make a promise he surely knew he had to keep he found himself interrupted but this time by Remus whose eyes which had an odd glint to them… a scary feral glint. 

Harry frowned, he did not like secrets, not if they were secrets meant for him and he wasn’t privy to them, those he hated. He had plotted, asked politely, begged, nagged, and in the end he had threatened but nothing, everyone was tight lipped and he seriously considered slithering into someone’s mind but he knew that was a little too far… still… “Jameson my Love,” Harry snatched his brother from one of his many games, at five, the boy was active which Harry was sad to say tired him out just watching. “It’s time for another of our man to man club meetings.” 

Eyes lighting with excitement, Jameson bounced in his brother’s arms, “Can I hit the rock!” 

“Yes you can, in fact, you’re president!” with a squeal the little boy babbled away, excited to be president of their super secret club that was only them! 

* 

Christmas eve dinner wasn’t too bad, after the last several nights of the shouting, laughing, and the now legendary food fight, a little bit extra excitement making the children just a fraction more excitable wasn’t too much. Dinner was being served, bowls passed around and plates filled yet… one plate remained empty, in fact a chair was empty. Ron frowned and continually glanced at the doorway which was behind him, “Where’s Harry?” he asked. 

“Right here darling,” A fork clanked onto a very expensive and antique dish, “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” 

Ron turned in his seat, his smile slipping as his jaw dropped leaving him with a ‘fish out of water’ look. Harry flounced, yes flounced, towards his long time boyfriend looking more spectacular than ever, well in at least Ron’s mind “Har – Harry?” 

“Yes love?” Harry leaned down and graced his lover with a kiss before setting himself in his seat, a napkin expertly placed in his lap, “This smells delicious, bet it tastes good too.” Soft strands of hair that escaped his braid fell to his face that was touched up with just a bit of makeup and lips plumped. 

“You,” Ron cleared his throat, “You look good.” And it was true; Harry sported an Asian styled long sleeved silk vest that was stitched with a silver dragon and left open to reveal a thin black shimmery fabric that stretched up at the neck, a pair of loose pants that were simple yet cut to move in just a certain way… well Ron was thankful that a table hid his not so little problem. 

In fact, just looking at Harry’s ear turned him on, he always felt a bit randy when his lover wore a small stone, usually the color of green but today a deep ebony, on the lobe of one ear. Harry was never one for clip on so that meant that Harry had re-pierced the ear and he was sure the nub while healed was still sensitive and Harry did enjoy a little rough play. 

“This old thing? It was just hanging in my closet, today was the perfect day to try it on.” With a shrug Harry dug into his meal, throwing smiles at anyone and everyone, he was in a delightful mood for sure. At the other end of the long table two men, husband and husband, shared a look, both thinking the same thing, it seemed that Harry somehow figured out the fairly big secret. 

It was a perfect Christmas Eve, there wasn’t a bad moment that could be thought of, the older children managed to stay up until midnight where they each opened a single gift, after many yawns and much protesting the children were put to bed and soon after less than an hour of conversation the adults followed. The Eve of Christmas might have been warm and full of laughter but the bedroom of Harry and Ron was anything but. “Harry?” 

“Yes.” Harry’s back remained rigid, his tone clipped and cool. 

“You looked smashing.” 

Rolling his eyes he removed his clothes, folding them to be placed on a top shelf, “Don’t I always.” Not bothering to get dressed he made his way to his side of the bed, a dark cloud over his head and tossed back the covers. Ron watched as his lover punched at the overstuffed pillow several times, his eyes couldn’t help but follow the curve of the spine and stay riveted to a pair of underwear he would never wear but just made him want to shag his lover senseless… which wouldn’t be appreciated. 

It wasn’t everyday Harry wore a man thong or even pierced his ears so he was losing out… shaking his head Ron thought it safe to ignore the strong urges and sleep, he might lose a hand if he attempted to touch his lover. With a silent sigh he slipped beneath the comforter and resigned himself to a not so happy Harry Potter who slept with his back to him… sigh. 

* 

The sun shone brightly… that wasn’t right. Harry scrunched his face, his eyes pressed together tightly trying to keep himself from awakening as long as possible but Harry needed to rest in the dark… annoyed, Harry blinked, his blurry vision focusing on the amused face of freckles and wild red hair. Before he could speak the tip of a wand tapped his lips and he was immediately put on alert as a burst of mint freshened his breadth and cleaned his teeth. If Ron thought he was going anywhere near his arse he had better think twice! 

“Marry Me.” Ron spoke softly. 

Eyes widening for a fraction of second he surprised the red head by shoving him off and angrily making his way out from between the sheets, storming to the bathroom, and slamming the door shut. 

Ron stared… 

* 

He wanted to cry… but men don’t cry… sniffing, Ron sat at the dining table that was now laden with breakfast, it was pretty early in the morning and his father and mother along with Sirius and Remus were the only ones at the table. Molly frowned as her youngest son sat with such a depressed air and barely touched the plate of food she had set before him – so very odd. “Are you alright dear?” Ron shrugged a shoulder and Molly frowned. 

“Did he say yes?” came from Sirius who snatched a piece of bacon from his husbands plate while there was a full plate of bacon just arms reach of him. 

Ron blinked, “Yes?” 

Molly clapped her hands, “He said yes!” 

“No.” Ron pushed aside a clump of scrambled eggs. 

“Son,” Ron looked up at his father, “Harry said no?” 

Opening his mouth he closed it, setting his fork down Ron sat back in his seat, “He didn’t say anything. I asked him and he stormed off… he’s going to leave me.” Pushing his plate aside he folded his arms on the linen and dropped his head. 

Sirius and Remus shared a look as Molly comforted her son. 

* 

To say that he wasn’t livid was an understatement, in fact he was so pissed that he cut his usual forty-five minute shower to ten and dressed haphazardly, just grabbing a shirt and pants and shoes from the closet and with a quick wave of his hand his hair dried but he did take a moment to apply some gel and a spritz of some random cologne and he stormed out of the room to find his very insensitive boyfriend. 

Stomping down a flight of steps he didn’t stop to greet any of his family, well, except the children who were quickly pulled away by the adults about who knew that he was in a _mood_. Marching into the dining room he clenched his jaw and made his way to his lover, ignoring Molly who was patting her son’s hair he reached out and tugged at a freckled ear and pulled upwards. “Ow!” 

Harry ignored the grip on his wrist and the protesting from the red head as he dragged him to a corner of the room and forced him against the wall before quickly erecting a privacy bubble, already they had garnered a crowd especially after Sirius’s uncontrollable laughter. “You idiot!” 

“What the hell, that hurt!” Ron rubbed at the stinging in his ear. 

“Oh don’t worry Ronald Weasley, you’ll know hurting after I’m through with you! What the hell is going through that thick skull of yours?” 

“Why the hell are you yelling at me? I should be yelling at you! You don’t want to marry me; we’ve talked about it long enough.” And Merlin it hurt, it hurt so bad he couldn’t help the way his eyes watered or how angrily he wiped at his face. 

“I **never** said I didn’t want to marry you, you dunce! You annoy the shit out of me but I love you, if you thought that asking me this morning was some sort of _romantic_ and _memorable_ memory to reminisce on with everyone we bloody well know you’re wrong! How can you expect me tell everyone about or engagement which starts out with a breath freshener charm and me with bed hair?” 

Confused Ron angrily snapped back, “I wanted it to be a surprise! Excuse me for wanting it to be a special moment between the two of us!” 

Harry glared, “Why not last night? Do you know how long it took me to get dressed? Hours Ronald, **HOURS**! I had to use my time turner to make sure I was perfect and arrived at the perfect moment so you and everyone else could be in awe of me!” 

Ron glared, “You’re a conceited bastard you know.” 

“Of course I am, I’m Harry Potter!” with a huff, Harry felt the fight, everything leave him and all that remained was a question and tiredness. He barely slept that night and ontop of being grouchy from sleep deprivation he was also starting to feel guilty. “Why? Why not yesterday.” Yesterday was perfect! It would have been a perfect proposal, a perfect story to tell. 

Ron was prepared to argue, his ear still hurt but he couldn’t deny his lover anything, especially when he looked so utterly miserable and… unkempt. With a smile he took a moment to take in his lovers attire that looked oddly familiar, “Harry, is that my shirt?” 

Harry blinked and looked down, it was a Quidditch shirt with a few stains, Ron’s favorite shirt with his favorite team, “Err…” 

“And my pants?” 

The pants were quite long and loose around his midsection, “Uh…” 

“In some cultures it’s a sign of commitment if someone wear’s another clothing but I always expected you would buy me a shirt and then wear it yourself not something so… sexy.” 

Harry didn’t know why but he felt the heat rise in his face. Ron thought he looked… dare he say it, _sexy_ in such clothing. Sexy was leather and silk and form fitting attire not this mess he was currently dressed in. He made sexy, invented it, commercialized it, franchised sexy, hell, he had a muggle line of clothes with that very name except with an extra x added to the word. “I look horrid.” 

Ron moved closer, his arms finding their way to pull the stubborn Slytherin closer, “You’re hot, beautiful, gorgeous, every delicious word in the dictionary.” He leaned forward slightly, his nose brushing against his lovers and moving to nuzzle a delicate ear, “You’re always so prim and proper, it turns me on to see you unkempt.” 

For a silly moment Harry wondered where Ron knew such a word, oh he knew that his lover was smart but really, why would he be attracted to stained shirts and baggy pants? “Don’t you like me in my _prissy_ clothes.” 

“Immensely.” Which was true, “But you look sinful in nothing but my shirt and that thong.” Mindful of his family watching Ron really wished he could slip his fingers past the waist band of his own pants and fondle his lovers ass. 

Harry bit his lip, his fingers moving here and there, Merlin he was fidgeting… he never fidgeted. “So… I turn you on with these clothes correct?” getting himself back under control he decided to milk the situation for all it was worth, the longer he stood in those strong arms… the thoughts were delicious enough. 

“More than you think.” 

“More than those man thongs you get me?” 

Ron brushed a kiss along Harry’s lips, “A close second.” 

“Kinky Weasley.” He couldn’t contain himself anymore, kissing the odd man he loved he couldn’t have been more content with his life… 

Pulling away Ron murmured, “Marry Me?” 

Biting at his lower lip Harry stared into those warm blue eyes that haunted him… “Yes.” 

Swooping down Ron kissed his lover and picked him up and twirled him around, he shouted out like a madman, Harry had said yes! The privacy bubble fell and the rest of the family who hadn’t figured it out were ecstatic and a new celebration was planned. As the commotion died down and night fell, sleep was far and coming for one person again. 

Harry stared out the window, snow falling softly on the already covered ground. He stared passed his reflection into the night contemplating the future, so deep in his thoughts he became oblivious to the scattered stretches of bluish veins that pulsed in the light of the moon or the way his even breath came out in puffs of cold air, frosting the glass and freezing the melting snow that stuck to the glass. Turning away from the window he made his way back to his bed, beneath the quilts he snuggled against his fiancé. 

Outside the glass, hidden in the dark and covered by the many trees decorating the land the ever watchful presence of several Dementor's, they had searched and spoke in their own way, there was no entry to retrieve what was rightfully theirs… they would have to wait… 

**-END-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No excuse for the delay, my dumbass just forgot to hit **POST** ... ugh..  
>  I don't guarantee a one-shot sequel but lets just say that if I did decide one it would be titled: **Dementor's Kiss** and it wouldn't be a 'Happy Ending' with wedding bells.  
>  Though if you do have ideas, suggestions, ect, I'm more than willing to play with em and abuse em :)


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